High For Him

"I'm All Yours, Mama."

17

"Are you okay? Do you need water or your medicines?" Tyler says, pacing around the kitchen like a madman. It's only been a few hours since the hospital and he's already smuggling me.

"Tyler I'm fine, don't change the subject," he sits on a barstool across from mine and I could tell he was the slightest bit uncomfortable, "What happened that night?"

Silence. He looks down at his shaky hands and then scratches his neck. Something was definitely bothering him.

"Tyler, trust me you can tell me anything."

"You d-don't understand Quinn. This isn't easy for me to say," He looks away from me, not wanting me to see what he holds in his eyes, "This isn't 'I got in a fight' or 'I crashed my car' Quinn. This is my life."

His words only made me more scared. I could hear the desperation in his shaky voice. I knew he wanted to tell me, but he couldn't. But whatever it is, I'd still love him nonetheless.

"Tyler look at me," I push his chin upwards so that we're making eye contact. "I love you, and after you tell me whatever is on your mind that will stay the same."

A single tear crosses his tired face, but he wipes it quickly so I wouldn't see. I hated seeing Tyler upset, it was a rare thing but whenever he was upset I was there making silly faces and monkey noises to cheer him up.

"I," he begins his voice ever hoarser than before. He clears his throat,
"I'm gay." As soon as the words came out he looked at me, searching for an expression.

The only expressions on my face was love, expectance, and relief. I had no problem with Tyler being gay, in my opinion I feel it isn't my business or my choice to make on who he likes are what he likes. The only downside is my parents.

They never said they didn't like gay marriages, but I have a feeling they wouldn't approve. Thus, why I'm not a hundred percent mad at him for not telling me sooner.

"Tyler, it's okay," I go around the table and I snuggle him into a bear hug. I could feel his tense muscles become loose under my touch, "I love you, you know that?"

"I know, I love you too." He smiles warmly, "Can you do me a favor though, can you not mention this to mom and dad. I want to tell them on my own terms."

"Of course Tyler, I would never."

After a couple of minutes in comfortable silence, I can't help but ask ,"Who were you talking about that night?"

"What do you mean?" Tyler furrows his eyebrows.

"The one you said you loved, that you should've told him." I explained.

"Oh," he nods remembering that night he came in a drunken mess, speaking about a certain he, "I was talking about my ex, Kyle."

My eyes widen in shock. Now everything makes sense. How Kyle looked at Tyler my first day of school. The mysterious disappearances. I would have never guessed that's what he was doing when he wasn't home. Well who he was doing, if you know what I mean.

"So that explains all the disappearing," I murmur, he nods his head. "Do you mind me asking what happened?"

"I kept telling him I would end it with Madison, but I didn't have the guts to come out. I'm such a f*cking coward. I love him and I still couldn't do it." This time he let the tears consume him, knowing I wouldn't judge him for it.

"Hey, you aren't a coward. If he really loved you he would've accepted that you weren't ready to come out," I rub his back trying to calm his sobs, "He would've stood by your side no matter what."

"I love him, Quinn," He whispers, sniffling through his runny noise, "I f*cking love him with all my heart."

"Then go, don't let him escape like this. It's not everyday you find someone who you want to wake up to every morning with," my mind wonders off to Kane for some reason, "You cannot let anything come between you two no matter how hard things get."

He shakes his head, looking at his shaky fingers. His face is now sticky from the tears and his eyes were low. I knew how it felt, I knew what he was going through. When you have strong feelings for someone but theres lots of mountains to cross before your happily ever afters.

"Listen to me, if you love Kyle as much as you say you do, you would be over there fighting for him. I know it's difficult but if you really do care about him you would try harder to make it work."

He sniffled, he looks up at me and sends me a small, sad smile. Wiping his tears with his wet shirt, getting off the stool.

"I love him, and I won't let him go." He says before collecting his keys and phone hurriedly, completely oblivious to his stench but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't care nonetheless. His hygiene was the least of his problems.

After he's gone, a force pulls me towards his bedroom door. Something made me turn the door knob. Kane was sitting on an office chair on his phone. He looks up at me, confused.

I sprint to him, jumping onto his lap. I take his face in my hands and smash my lips onto his. I've been trying to deny it for too long. Right now all I wanted to do is be under his touch.

He lets me enter his mouth and his delicious taste makes me groan. The kiss contained lust, hunger, and want. It's been too f*cking long. Too long since he's touched me.

He pulls away for a minute, leaving both of us equally breathless.

"I thought you said you didn't want to because of Tyler." He whispers, his breathing still heavier than usual just like mine.

"I don't care, I want you. I really want you."

He lifts me and carries me towards his king sized bed. He pushes me onto his bed and climbs on top of me, while removing his shirt.

"I'm all yours, mama." He whispers, nibbling on my earlobe. This familiar warm feeling is what I've been craving for days. I loved this feeling.

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Edited 8/1/18