High For Him

Do I Love Kane Adams?

24

Nausea.

I felt like I was at the very edge. At any moment I could just explode into a million pieces . And all this "Sinisters" talk isn't helping. At all.

It's been a while and I'm still not sure why I'm still here. It's cold, gloomy, and disgusting down here. I've always wondered what the inside of an ass looked like, I guess now I know.

"They're growing pretty fast. At this rate we'll all be dead by next week," I hear bits and snippets of the guy's conversation, "We're going to need all the help we can get. We can get weapons from the Greeks in the south but we're going to need more men."

This all sounds so surreal. None of what was coming out their mouths and into my ears was sticking. Literally, blank.

"I'll help, but with one condition, Quinn stays out of this." I hear Kane's voice through the door, what are we getting ourselves into?

Half an hour later they are done discussing and Coby is driving us back to the Cabin. My leg wouldn't stop moving but the farther I was from that bunker the safer I felt.

Once we were in our room the questions I had locked away came spewing out, "Who are the Sinisters? Why do they need your help?"

"Quinn it's better if you don't know, trust me." I could tell Kane wanted me to drop it, but was I going to? Hell to the no.

"Kane, tell me or I'll figure it out myself." I warned, crossed armed.

He sighs, he turns stone and then looks at me, lifelessly, "The Sinisters are a gang, our enemy. A while back my grandfather and the leader of the Sinister's grandfather were very close friends until they killed my grandpa for his money. Now we're left with this battle and my family needs all the help they can get," he pauses, thinking.

"Meaning I'll have to help them or else theres a great chance they will not make it." He adds.

"Help them do what?" It comes out faster than expected.

He sighs even louder this time, "Help them kill and destroy The Sinisters, make them pay for all that they have done to our family." He says it with so much hatred and anger. It scares me, his now cold stone, dark blue eyes stare into my soul like they're looking for an expression. Sadly all I felt was fear, confusing, and I really needed to f*cking vomit.

"Why didn't you tell me all this before?" I couldn't look him in the face, knowing he has deadly serious about all this.

"I was trying to run away from my old life, from the life I was born into. Besides I knew you wouldn't look at me the same, just like you're doing right now."

"No sh*t, you hid this ginormous detail about your life of course I'm hurt and angry." My throat was starting to clog up. My eyes began to sting.

"I know you're scared Quinn, you don't have to hide it," He comes closer, but I couldn't help but flinch at the action, "If you want to go back home we will and you won't ever have to see me just say it."

"I'm not scared of you." I hiss. He steps closer. I step backwards.

"Say it Quinn." Another step towards me. Another step backwards.

"I'm not scared of you!" I yell. Step closer, step backwards. I feel the cold wooden wall hit my back. He uses both arms to trap me in between his body and the wall.

"Tell me you are scared of me." He whispers into my ear, nibbling on my earlobe. I gasp, helplessly. I couldn't be scared of him I just couldn't.

"I'm not scared of you, I lo..." I stop myself. I wasn't just about to say that, was I? Oh my god, I was about to say that.

"You what?" He whispers.

"Nothing, I'm just not scared of you." I try, I can tell he's not convinced but I'm grateful he drops the topic.

I really need to think before I speak.

But do I? Do I love Kane Adams? The asshole who can cook a mean Mac and cheese. The guy who stole my innocence. My brother's best friend. My roommate. And now apparently the son of a gang leader. Could I be in love with Kane Adams?

Seems like my innocence is not the only thing Kane stole from me, he stole my heart.

Even though he was a jerk most of the time, and he's hurt me more than once, I do. I do love him. I was always told to look for the good guys, but I guess bad guys are just more thrilling.

No offense to good guys, in fact keep it up. But me, I'm in love with a gangster. A sexy gangster, may I add.

"What are you thinking so hard on?" Kane says, snapping me out of my sudden daze. Should I tell him? When, Where? Oh my, who knew confessing your love for somebody was so difficult. I've never experienced this, just sadly watched things like this happen in movies or in books.

What am I saying, this isn't a book. It's not like we're fictional characters in a book about romance. Pfft, as if.

"Nothing."

I decided it isn't the right moment. He had just explained that his family is the Diablos and how they've been part of a gang for decades. He explained how he didn't want to be part of this so he left to become a chef.

But all could think of was those three little words I couldn't say out loud.

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Edited 8/6/17