High For Him

Jealousy

15

I haven't closed an eye since I saw the two of them. It's now five in the morning and I've been watching commercials and ads on weird as seen on tv products.

See I would've busted in there and confronted them. But I'm not like those girls on tv. I don't have the balls to do any of those things, I never have and I'm afraid I never will. Truth is I'm a coward.

I never stood up to all the bullies. I ignored all the snickers and all the judgement. I thought that side of me would've changed when I turned eighteen. Guess not.

I'm startled when the front door opens letting in a bright light from outside. The door closes to reveal a very messy looking Tyler.

"Where the f*ck have you been? It's literally five in the morning!" My brother comes in tripping on air and luckily landing onto the soft sofa. He smells like alcohol and cigarettes.

"I messed up Quinn," he murmurs underneath his breath, probably too unconscious to realize what he was saying, "I messed up bad."

His worried voice had me trembling in my clothes. What was he talking about? This has never happened before, I've never seen this side of him. Usually he doesn't get this drunk without telling me he would.

"What are you saying, what did you do?" My voice was shaky and my palms were beginning to sweat. I had to toss him over so he wouldn't begin to vomit on the clean seats.

"I love him...I should've told him." He mumbles, my eyes widen in shock and utter confusion. Who's he? Is it Kane? What is this drunk ass man talking about?

"I kept telling him that I would end it," He shook his head repeatedly, tears coming out of his big brown eyes, "I was too scared to show them." He sobs into the cushions.

"Okay, c'mon Ty you need some rest," I helped him off the couch, carefully. I carried him all the way to his bedroom, "Tomorrow morning you're explaining everything to me."

I knocked off his boots and socks. I grabbed him Advil and a glass of water, leaving it on the night stand for his hangover tomorrow. I kiss his forehead goodnight.

"Goodnight." I closed his bedroom door, silently.

I tippy toed back into the living room and I gasp in surprise. Kane had finally come home. He was sitting on the couch and as soon as I entered the room, his head whipped towards me.

"What are you doing up so late?" He asks, trying to fix his hair up. He wouldn't look me in the eye, but I could tell his blue eyes were full of guilt.

"I couldn't sleep," I half lied, "I had a nightmare." Technically I did, exempt, it wasn't a nightmare- it was real life.

"Where were you?" I asked even though I knew the exact answer. I just wanted to know what his answer would be if I was completely oblivious to where he really was.

"I was at a friend's house, they're going through a tough time right now." He looked away, he looked everywhere but my face. Obviously the guilt is getting to him, which I'm glad it was.

"I saw you," I found myself blurting out, clearly unconsciously. The rims of my eyes began to water again, "With her, I-I followed you."

"What?" He finally turned to me, his eyes were red and teary. You could tell he had been previously crying.

"I saw you with Jen." A single tear slid done my right cheek.

"Quinn I didn't think you would care," he tries to come near me to wipe away my tears but I scoot backwards, "You are with Tray, aren't you?"

"Obviously you did think I would care because you lied to me! And I told you it's better you don't know about Tray," My whimpers became uncontrollably loud sobs, "He's blackmailing me. He knows what we did and if I don't date him he'll tell Tyler."

"I did it for you!" I shouted, angry tears submerging my eyes. I was done being sad and pathetic, rage fulfilled me entirely.

"Quinn I didn't know, I swear if I did I wouldn't have-"

"But you did! Let me remind you, you did it twice. Why? Was it out of jealousy? Because I cannot have anything to do with you if your going to let Jealousy dominate your decisions!"

My hair's a mess, my throat is throbbing due to all the angry tears, and my heart is broken in two.

"I'm sorry." He whispers after a moment of silence. I couldn't look him in the face anymore. He didn't look the same as he used to in my eyes. All I see now is pain.

"I am too." I mumbled getting off the couch and dragging my tired body to my bedroom. I locked myself inside and hid inside my sheets.

I wanted to erase all the words he made me believe. All the lies he told me. I wanted to erase his hands ever being on my delicate skin. I wanted to, but I couldn't.

I knew no amount of alcohol or drugs could change time. If it did, I would've started back at stage one. I would've stayed away from Kane.

I thought being an adult would be the best thing ever. Little did I know it meant so much more than bills and responsibilities.

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Edited 7/31/18