Now Or Never

Chapter Twenty

<3: Dedicated to Alechuza, cuz she is bae. And lover. And sweetheart. AND PRETTY!

Chapter Twenty: 

Have you ever just lay down on the floor, stared at the ceiling, and wondered? Wondered about your life, wondered about your upcoming death, and just wondered about what you're having for dinner?

Because I do that. A lot. 

I guess, when my life becomes a little unpredictable, I have to calm myself to let it all soak in. Because I like to be in control. I want myself to be sure of what's coming up next. 

I mean, I know life is all about living and having fun and taking advantage of the moment. You know, shit like that. And for a while, my motto was YOLO. But after a few years of partying a little too much, I realized that I had a purpose for my life. I didn't know what it was yet, but I would eventually find out.

And that statement is really vague, but the moment it crossed my mind, I felt as if all the life had been drained out of me. And it probably had been. All I've done these past few months is laze around, fail my classes, and feel like crap.

Kissing Jason was probably the most exciting thing that's happened to me since I got kicked out of my house. And frankly, I think that's unacceptable.

I'm not going to go all out and party my ass off, but I will try and be more attentive. More focused, and a little more sociable. Don't forget, the key word is try. 

But maybe, just maybe, it might work.

"Hey, you wanna go to the park?" Kevin asked, poking his head inside the room. 

"Oh, um...is Jason coming?" I asked, my voice coming out course from lack of use. Because I'd been lying on the floor for roughly one and a half hour.

"No."

"Okay, then. I'll come." 

"Uhhhh...cool. But why are you on the floor?"

"No reason." I replied, getting up slowly. 

"Okie dokie. We leave in five minutes."

"Awesome..." I said to myself, as he was already gone.

I swiftly opened my duffel bag, thinking about changing. In the end, I decided not to. My pants were super comfortable, and I hardly ever felt secure enough to wear them.

Instead, I just took out a NY slingshot hat and put it on sideways. And Voila! Little me was ready!

I hopped down the stairs, and saw Kevin leaning against the front door.

"After you." he said, courteously opening the door for me. I rolled my eyes at him and bumped his shoulder. Thankfully, he actually moved. 

Finally, all that exercise and lifting weights comes to use...

"It's just us?" I asked, shoving my hands in the huge pockets of my pants.

 "Yep. You don't mind, eh? No one else wanted to come." 

"Naw."

"Okay." he said, and we eased into a relaxed silence. We walked for about two minutes, and then we reached the park.

It was plain, to be frank. Just a set of swings, and a little kiddie structure. It probably looked crappier because it was empty.

"Nice park." I commented, looking at him irritably. 

"Oh, come on. The swings are more than enough." he reasoned.

"Fine. Then....I'll race you to the swings!" I yelled, taking off and laughing. I jumped on the swing, quickly kicking my legs up and smoothing into a steady rhythm.