"Why can't you just be normal"
Miara was always messed up. At just seven Miara's mother died with an incurable disease. Her sister left her to go with her boyfriend to college when she was 12 and her father was an workaholic and was very neglectful...
I call a cab and wait outside my house. I hopped into the car the minute they park it and thank the driver. She doesn't live that far away from where the driver dropped me off but I don't remember exactly where it is. I check all the messages she sent me when she first left. The last message she sent me was sent two years ago. She texted her address in case I ever needed her.
I get there at 10 am and go to her apartment. I knock on the door to see Katelyn she looks the same except she dyed her once dark brown hair blue. She doesn't recognise me for a second but when she does she pulls me into a tight hug.
"Oh, Miara I've missed you so much," My sister says stroking my hair.
"I've missed you too," I say as I take in her new hair colour.
She pulls away from her hug as realisation strikes. "B-but why are you here? Is dad still an arse?"
"Yeah and some stuff happened at school today."
"You wanna talk about it?," She asks, looking down at the tears now forming in my eyes.
"Yeah," I say, wiping the tear out of my eye.
So we talk about the whole thing. I show her the internet memes and all the comments. She is sorta like a mother to me. We just sat there on her sofa, her stroking my hair in a comforting manner. She was my shoulder to cry on and I appreciated it. I probably cried for hours. I just let it all out, all the things that I haven't been able to tell anyone. Though I did keep something quiet. That I probably haven't eaten a full meal in weeks. I know I should tell her my body image issues and thoughts of killing myself but I can't bring myself to hurt her like that.
"You seem a lot smaller than the last time I saw you though it has been two years" She ponders, looking at my small body. It's probably because I don't eat full meals anymore.
"Hmm" I try not to spill that I don't eat properly anymore.
"I'm serious! Are you still going to therapy?," She asks.
"About that.." I trailed off at the end of my sentence before Katelyn cut me off "You stopped going to therapy!!!"
"Yeah.."
"I'm gonna murder him I swear," She said, talking about our dad.
"You'll go to jail though!," I try to convince her even I want it to happen.
"Fine but I'm moving back home."
"What you can't do that! You love college!"
"I skip it half the time anyways and I need to look after you because our dad obviously can't," She said, making a good point.
"Are you really going back home?"
"Definitely, I'll move back tomorrow or the day after," Katelyn reassured me.
I hug for what seems like hours and almost kill her in the process. She tells me I should go home but I try to convince her I shouldn't. She wins our little argument and I sadly go home. It's 2:45 the time I got home. I was there quite a long time I guess. I pick out my outfit for Reuben and I' s Starbucks date. I decide on this outfit
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I do my hair in two plaits, put on a beanie and do my makeup. I put a small bit of concealer under my eyes and on some spots. This is what I do for eyeshadow
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I put on a burgundy lipstick and check the time. It's only just turned 3 o'clock so I head out the door to Starbucks. He is already there waiting there at our usual table. His eyes instantly light up as soon as he sees me walking towards our table. I put on a fake smile and quietly say hello.
"Miara!! Are you okay?" He says, worry in his voice.
"I'm fine, stop worrying about me for once."
"I can't Miara! What happened today was so messed up. After you left it was even worse!" He says sadly.
"W-what do you mean?" I say, scared of what he might say next.
"It's too hard to explain but you'll see for yourself. Anyways what did you do all day?" Reuben asks, taking my hand.
"I went to see my sister, who is at university," I admit, still faking smiling.
"Oh, but are you seriously okay?" He asks again, still holding my hand.
"Yeah. Can we please just order something now?" I say, firmly.
If you are sensitive to self-harm skip to the !!!
We go up to the till and I buy a water and Reuben gets a coffee. We talk about what we usually do for half an hour. I tell him I have to go home. He looks disappointed but I walk out anyway. I eventually get to my house and look around for something. That's when I found it. My razor, I hadn't done this in months but the black razor still looked the same. I get changed into a black t-shirt and I pick it up again and go to the bathroom. I sit down in corner of the bathroom and start to put the razor against my arm. I went up and down my arm until I felt numb. I wash off some of the blood and don't bother to properly treat it.
!!!
I open the bathroom door and look out to see if my dad was there. He wasn't so I went out of the bathroom with my sore arms. I carelessly jump on to my bed, not caring that it hurts my arms. I curled up in a ball and just stared at all the cuts and scars that I did over the past year. It all started when I just turned 13 and I was celebrating with my best friend Rebekah. Long story short she spread rumours about me I don't remember exactly what they were, all I remember is that she never talked to me again. I cry for what seems like hours but then I hear a loud noise outside.
What do you guys think that noise was? Do you like Katelyn so far? How do you feel about Miara's past?
Anyways I'm so sorry I didn't post in ages but I'monsummerholidayssohopefullymoreupdatesarecoming soon!
