michael's Diary // clemmings

Entry 8

I WAS LISTENING TO SEE YOU AGAIN BY MILIEY CYRUS ON REPEAT WHILE WRITING THIS SO IF YIU WANT THE WHOLE EXPERIENCE OUT IT IN REPEAT THEN READ.

LUKE AND I ACCIDENTALLY KISSED. GOD I FELT THIS DEEP CONNECTION BUT WHERE SO SO DISCONNECTED. IT WAS SO NICE a bit hurtful considering the way it happened BUT I ENJOYED IT but being me I kinda got freaked and I've been in my room for the past two days. I've only talked to Ashton who would then bring Calum's messages to me bc he was with Luke UGH WHY DID I FREAK OUT. IT WAS SO STUPID but it seemed so planned. Luke was sliding on the floor in his socks he slipped and I was right ther so I helped him up and then Calum bumped him with the door coming up the stairs and BAM! Our lips were in each other's. And being me I pushed him off he said sorry I said it was okay and walked off but my insides were freaking out

His lips were so soft and his lipping was so cold it send shivers down my back. I felt like I couldn't breath but really I was just me me. Over dramatic. I JUST WANT TOS EE HIM AGAIN BUT IM SCARED UGH. I hate myself. I still think I should leave the band. I haven't talked to anyone about it yet and they're still having those little talks with out me and I feel so left out and at this point I kinda want to leave. Like when we're recording if I have a solo sometimes Calum and and Ashton will just start to laugh and when I say something Luke will give them these looks and I just don't know what to do. Pat this point I think I may just be hopeless and that the only option I have is to leave. I'm just not up for feeling left out and bullied I guess you could say or at least talked about. So I guess I've made up my mind.

I better go get packing.

Mikey

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So yeah a bit short the ending sucks but yeah. I left a bunch of song references in her so if you found them congrats. Okay bye. oh! And guess what? I didn't proof read