A Drunken Admission

"Why does this happen every time we go out?" Risley tightened her hold around Nikki's waist and practically pulled her up the stairs to Nikki's second floor apartment. She had laughed with Nikki the first couple of times when she'd helped her drunken friend up to her apartment. Since it had been going on for two months, it was no longer funny. "What did I tell you last weekend as I carried you in?"

"That you were gonna leave me on the front steps," Nikki slurred. "I don't even deserve that."

Risley sighed as she leaned Nikki against the wall by her door and pulled a key out of her pocket. She'd had a key to Nikki's apartment for a couple of years now, but she had barely used it before Nikki's latest drunken escapades. She got the door unlocked as fast as she could before Nikki sank all the way to the floor. "Come on, Nik. Let's get you in bed."

Nikki draped her arm across Risley's shoulders and tried not to hinder her attempt at getting her in the door. She could have told Risley that she didn't want to go out, but if she had, Risley would have just stayed home with her. Nikki didn't know which one would be worse, being sober and alone with Risley or drunk and surrounded by people that hung all over her. She understood their infatuation because she had the same problem. Nikki just kept hers hidden.

"You can't keep doing this, Nikki. I know things have been difficult lately, but drinking like this doesn't help anything. You need to accept your breakup with Becky so you can get on with your life." Risley grabbed a hold of Nikki's arm and lowered her onto the edge of her bed. She knelt at her feet and pulled her shoes from her feet.

"Becky's not the problem," Nikki said softly. "You are."

"What?" Risley said as she stood up. "How is this my fault?"

"Forget it." Nikki tried to turn over on her side in hopes that Risley would leave, but she felt a hand on her arm pulling her back over.

"I will not forget it, Nikki. If I've done something to upset you, I'd like to know what it is." Risley stood there with her hands on her hips and looked down at Nikki. She couldn't think of a single thing she had done that would upset Nikki like this. When Becky broke up with Nikki, Risley was the one who made sure that Nikki didn't lock herself away from everyone. She knew how Nikki usually dealt with bad breakups, and she didn't want to see her friend wallow away in sadness. "What did I do that was so wrong?"

"You didn't do anything except be your perfect self." Nikki unbuttoned her jeans and pushed them down past her hips. After her jeans were kicked to the floor, she pulled her shirt off, which left her in a white tank top and red panties. She planted her feet on the mattress and lifted her hips from the bed. Once the covers were pulled out of the way, she lowered her hips and pushed her legs down to slip them under the covers.

"I'm not perfect, Nikki, and you know that. I know it hasn't been easy since Becky broke up with you, but I'd prefer if you didn't take things out on me." Risley turned her back on Nikki and headed out of the bedroom. As she approached the doorway, she heard Nikki's soft voice.

"Becky didn't break up with me. I broke up with her. I couldn't continue the relationship when I longed to be with someone else."

Risley's hand was on the door frame as Nikki spoke. Her head hung in front of her as she listened to Nikki's admission. She was so close to getting what she wanted that she had to force herself not to scream with glee. Instead of smiling from the joy she felt, she kept her face passive and turned to face Nikki. "Why did you feel like you had to lie to me about all of this? It wouldn't affect me either way."

"It affects you in every way." Nikki pushed up in her bed and leaned back against the headboard. "Will you come over here and sit down beside me, please? If I'm going to tell you everything, I'd like to see you when I do it."

Risley walked up to the end of the bed and slipped her shoes off. She placed her hands on the bed and crawled up beside Nikki. As anxious as she was to rush things, she let Nikki set the pace of the conversation. "Why couldn't you tell me all of this before now? You've never had any problem talking to me before. What's changed?"

"I've changed, Risley. The way I feel has changed." Nikki reached over for Risley's hand and laid it on her lap on top of the covers. She fiddled with Risley's fingers as she worked up the courage to admit everything.

"I never should have agreed to a serious relationship with Becky. The feelings I have were already there, but I was scared to admit them. There was too big of a risk to tell anyone the way I felt. I guess I thought they would go away if I stayed with Becky, but they didn't. They only got stronger."

"So you've had feelings for someone else for a while now? What's wrong with this person you care for?" Risley turned her hand over and let her fingers brush across Nikki's arm as Nikki continued to distract herself with Risley's arm. It was nowhere near enough physical contact, but she would take what she could get.

"There's nothing wrong with her, but I don't think she shares my feelings."

"Have you asked her? You won't know for sure until you tell her how you feel." Risley pulled her hand away from Nikki's and lifted it up to her chin. She pulled her face around until Nikki was looking into her eyes. "Tell me how you feel, Nikki."

"I'm in love with you, Risley. You're all I can think about. I know you don't want a relationship right now, but I can't keep what I feel a secret anymore." Nikki tried to lower her head, but Risley pulled back up on her chin and wouldn't let her look away.

"The main reason I didn't want a relationship is because the woman that I was in love with was dating someone else. Since she's single now, I'd be open to a relationship if she wanted one." Risley slid her fingers along Nikki's jaw and opened her palm around the side of her face. Her fingers slid around her ear and into her short hair. "I love you, Nikki."