Always You {Steve Rogers}

twenty three

8 months later...

3rd Persons PoV

It's been 8 months. 8 months since the battle in Sokovia. 8 months since Banner's been off the grid. 8 months since Steve had seen and to him, maybe even lost Aliza. But to Steve it felt like it had been years.

It's been hard. He hadn't been back to the apartment since, half of him terrified because he knew that if he did then all he would see is her and half of him trying to keep the promise that he would stay with Tony.

Thor hadn't been back yet, which only made everyone assume the worst. Steve had been going out of my mind with worry and everyone knew it. He mourned for her and the first few weeks not many approached him, frightened at how he would react. He would stay cooped up in her room at the tower, watching through old videos and pictures on his phone of Aliza. Each one was like another stab in the heart. Many tried to reach out but the way he saw it, what could they do that could make him stop feeling like this?

When he wasn't wallowing in my bedroom, he was trying to drown himself in liquor. Unfortunately, due to the serum, it didn't provide much solace. Everyone tried to give him space, but one day he went missing and was found 3 hours later passed out on the street outside his apartment building clutching the soft stuffed animal that Aliza couldn't sleep without. After that, Natasha tried her hardest to get him to come to dinner, then to training, then on missions.

4 months in and to everyone, it looked like everything was back in routine. He smiled, he joked but it wasn't the same. He still felt the emptiness in his heart. Her birthday passed and his birthday passed but he didn't celebrate it. Steve sat up on the roof, watching the fireworks because he knew that's what she would have wanted to do.

Although everything seemed like it was back to normal, Steve still couldn't sleep properly. He would be lucky if he got a few hours of sleep each night. Every time he closed his eyes he saw her. He saw her laughing and saw her just being her. And sometimes he would see her on that battlefield, blood seeping out of her stomach. That was usually when he would force himself to wake up, not wanting to relive the whole memory.

One day, Clint sat down next to him and watched as he downed glass after glass of Tequila. Everyone knew how much losing Aliza was destroying Steve and they needed to do something about it.

"Steve. Buddy. How long are you going to try and drink yourself into oblivion?"

"Until Aliza comes back." He bluntly stated.

Clint sighed and rubbed his hand over his forehead. "Steve. I think you've got to understand that maybe she might not. It's been 6 months. Maybe it's time to move on."

Steve's hand trembled and he put the shot glass down in fear that he might shatter it. Tears began to well up in his eyes and he pushed them back as best as he could before turning to face Clint.

"I love her." He softly breathed out with a tilt of his head. Clint's heart dropped for his friend as he saw all the emotion behind that soft smile but he couldn't just sit there and watch Steve do this to himself.

"And she wouldn't want you to sit around trying to ruin your life. I know you love her but-"

Steve interrupted him, now extremely irritated by the notion he was trying to put forward.

"I'm not going to let it disappear. I-I just can't. I can't fail her. Not again." He croaked.

Clint sighed, knowing he wasn't going to get through to him. At least not tonight. He patted his shoulder and left, leaving Steve to drink in silence.

Tony was distraught at first. Many were surprised that someone like Tony Stark had let someone get so close to him that their absence would affect him this much. But Tony was appreciative of the fact that he had finally found someone to love like a brother loves a sister. A love they were both in dire need of. Both Aliza and Tony had felt a connection and he soon found out just how much. He carried on like a solider for the public but the Avengers knew he wasn't okay inside. They observed as he spent countless sleepless nights in that lab, making more suits with more advancements. He also spent a lot of his time researching the bullet that hit Aliza.