Better Love || A Bucky Barnes Fanfiction

- Sanctuary -

It was on the news a few days later. It was in the papers. Local legend surgeon in hospital after assault headlines were eventually followed by Disgraced surgeon charged with domestic abuse. It seemed that Elena had pressed charges after all. He hadn't seen her since the attack, though, and that had been two weeks ago. He wasn't completely in the dark, though. Delilah had visited the hospital every day, updating him on how she was doing as soon as she would return to the shelter.

"Poor baby," she had cried when she had returned from a visit, allowing Bucky to lead her to a table and sit her down, a comforting hand in hers. "Oh, Bucky, she looks a mess. A broken wrist, bruising up and down her poor body, cracked collarbone and sternum, and two cuts across her cheek. The doctors say that she will heal, and she said that she was fine, but Lord.... my poor baby. Apparently that nasty man of hers came off looking worst, though. Now, I'm not the type of person to wish harm on anyone, but that man - what a disgrace of a human being. I'm tempted to say that he got what he deserved. Whoever this man was that saw what was happening saved Elena's life. She doesn't remember who it was, she keeps telling us that, and judging by Thomas' wounds he's unlikely to know either, but Lord bless the man who saved my baby."

He had asked Delilah if he would be able to go see her too, but hesitantly Delilah had admitted that Elena did not want to see him. To hear her say that almost broke Bucky's heart, but then he thought about that morning. He thought about himself and how Elena had seen him through her clear, blue eyes.

The outcomes of his actions in saving Elena from Thomas hadn't crossed Bucky's mind until after he had returned to the shelter that day, stripping off his blood-splattered gloves and jacket and staring at himself in the mirror in his room. He hadn't noticed it at the time, but he had gotten blood on his neck, a little bit in his hair. He was still trembling from the adrenaline, that damn voice in his head still whispering, still wanting more. To think that he had lost himself like that, had let the Winter Soldier get the better of him in that moment.... 

To know that Elena had seen him at his worst. To know that when she had grabbed onto him and he had turned towards her, eyes like a wild animal, a murderer, a killer, showing her what he really was...

He had thrown up into his sink at the thoughts that would not go away. No wonder she doesn't want to see you, a voice whispered in his head, familiar and hateful. It had taken a full two days of isolation to silence the monster until he finally felt safe to go out into the public once more.

Once he felt more or less normal again, he made his way down to the wharf. He had been spending the past two weeks there now. There was no point in going to the library. He had read all the books he needed now, and Elena was not there. That was the main reason, really. Elena was not there.

He would not lie to himself anymore. Standing at the edge of the wharf and staring out across the spring sea which sparkled blue and green, he knew what he felt for Elena. It was affection, protection, and an overwhelming feeling of adoration. It scared him, in truth, how drawn he found himself to her and how dependent he had become on her. It was never a dull day whenever he got to see her. Once, while the pair had walked back to the shelter together one night, he believed that she had magic powers. He had never felt so calm before in his life and he knew that she was the cause. Only she had the power to silence the Winter Soldier. 

He frowned, brushing aside a stray strand of hair that had escaped the bun he had tied it in. Yes, she had the power to silence the Winter Soldier. But the closer he got to her, the more that power changed from helpful to harmful. After he had found out about Thomas, it was as though a switch had been flicked inside his head. Instead of keeping the Winter Soldier hidden in the dark, Elena was bringing him forward into the light. That wasn't her fault, of course. She knew nothing about him. Really, it was all Bucky. His protectiveness of her was allowing the Winter Soldier to slip back to the forefront of his mind, ready to act as soon as he was called upon. Which, of course, he was.

Since he had been free from HYDRA, Bucky had never met a person like Elena. She brought out the best in him, but also the worst. However, he did not care. The positives outweighed the negatives, the fondness he had for her outweighed the fear he had about himself. He couldn't quite believe the affect she had had on him. It had been slow, those feelings creeping up silently. He chuckled at that thought. He was the world's deadliest assassian and yet she crept up on him so damn easily. 

He wished she was with him now. He wished she would let him see her, but he understood why she would not want that now. The man she had spent many weeks with at the library, quiet and withdrawn, polite and kind, probably did not exist in her mind anymore. She had seen the Winter Soldier, and like Thomas, that man was dangerous. That man could kill.  So perhaps it was a good thing that she didn't want to see him anymore. Maybe she'll be safe.

Returning to the shelter when the sun had set, Bucky had only just entered the dining room when Delilah caught him, a smile on her face.

"What are you doing down here?" She asked, making Bucky tilt his head.

"W-What do you mean? It's almost dinner, I'm going to help-"

"No, son! Go upstairs, someone's waiting for you in your room," she interrupted, pushing him towards the door. The news that someone was waiting for him chilled Bucky to his core, freezing him at the enterance into the dining hall. He turned his head towards Delilah who was making her way back towards the kitchen now, oblivious to the fear that was currently taking over Bucky's mind. There's no way Delilah would set me up in such a way, Bucky told himself, turning to look down the hall. But maybe she doesn't know, doesn't realize...

With a deep breath Bucky walked towards the elevator, punching the button to his room, the other hand itching towards the knife in his pocket. It seemed that HYDRA had found him, then. Probably due to the news that had come out about Elena. The thought of her made him wince. He hoped that she was okay, that they had left her alone in hospital to heal, that they hadn't harmed her. He would never forgive himself if that was the case. 

His fears, however, had been unneeded. The door to his room was wide open so he was able to see who was in it before they caught sight of him. Inhaling sharply Bucky paused, shock passing over his face. As he approached his room the figure turned and suddenly he was locking eyes with her once more. He had missed her eyes. He had missed her.

"Elena," he whispered, taking the younger woman in. The cuts across her cheek were still stitched up, light brusing highlighting the wounds. Darker bruises marked the upper part of her chest, disappearing beneath the long sleeved shirt she wore. Her wrist was in a cast, a sling holding it tight to her torso. She looked terrible but alive, and that made him glad. Terrible was better than dead, and that was what she would've been had Thomas had his way. 

"Did you mean it?" Elena broke the silence, staring at Bucky with concerned eyes, unsure as to what he was going to say. Clearing her throat and touching her injured arm gingerly, she spoke once more. "What you said... at the house. Did you mean it?"

I'm here for you, Elena.

Without a word Bucky nodded. It was all the reassurance she needed. Taking two steps towards him, Bucky found his feet closing the rest of the distance between them. His arms wrapped around her, hugging her gently so he wouldn't hurt her any more than she already was. Her face pressed against his shoulder, Bucky felt her free arm grip his back tight. With a whisper she spoke.

"I've left him for good, Bucky. I think it's time for me to start again," she murmured, making Bucky nod softly as his hand found itself cradling the back of her head.

Start again, Bucky thought, eyes closed. We can start again together. 

Outside, the rain began to pour. 

a/n: And with that, we end part one. 

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