Better Love || A Bucky Barnes Fanfiction

- The Winter Soldier -

She knew it was over when his screams faded into exhausted pants. Lifting her head up from where she sat on the ground, Elena's tear-stained face looked towards Bucky, the chair straightening up once again. His shoulders were heaving, his hands clenching, and every now and again a twitch would pass over him that made him shake his head or shudder. Eventually his pants subsided and Gideon walked over to him. Elena did not miss the cautious steps he took towards Bucky, as though unsure as to whether or not the chair had worked. She hoped it hadn't. Standing over Bucky, Gideon spoke.

"Soldier?" 

A moment's silence. The only thing Elena could hear was her heart, and she was sure that she wasn't the only one who could hear it. She sat up straighter, eyes staring it Bucky's. They stared passed her, though. It was as though she wasn't even in the room. With a dead voice, Bucky answered.

"Ready to comply."

"No," Elena cried, pulling herself up from the floor just as Gideon gave a light, relieved laugh. The man paced across the room, past Bucky and the other people, rubbing his chin as he shook his head and continued to chuckle.

"Oh, thank fuck for that," he murmured, sharing a smile with the others around him while Bucky continued to stare blankly at the doors across from him. Gideon turned, looking over at Elena who was shaking where she stood, face scrunched up in pain as she stared at Bucky. "See, I was nervous. Thought that it might not work given how long he's been free for. I was worried about the effect you might've had on him, Elena. Turns out that you didn't have as prominent an effect as I had first thought, though!"

"Fuck you!" Elena screamed, half hysterical, half in heartbroken pain, moving swiftly towards him before being roughly grabbed by her two guards. Gideon only laughed once more.

"Calm down, Elena," he said, lifting the gun up and pointing it towards her once more. Whatever reaction he was hoping to get out of her, he did not recieve. Instead, Elena only stared stoically at him, lifting her head slightly and pushing her chin out. He smiled at that, tilting his head to the side. "You know, you're tougher than you give yourself credit. We could make a soldier out of you too."

Gideon sighed, lowering his gun with a small shake of his head.

"But no. We've got enough. And anyway, we only wanted him," Gideon continued, walking back over to Bucky and gesturing for the others to release him of his restraints. "And now that we've got him, we don't need you."

Standing beside Bucky, Gideon grabbed him roughly by the back of the neck and pulled him to his feet. Bucky stumbled slightly but soon recovered, his eyes never flinching at the sudden contact. Gideon let go of him, looking between Bucky and Elena.

"We have a new mission for you, soldier," Gideon stated, stepping closer to Bucky without a hint of fear or hesitation that Elena had noticed before. He had absolute control of Bucky now.

"See that woman?" Gideon pointed towards where Elena was standing with his gun, her eyes wide as she stared at the husk of the man that she loved. Bucky's eyes, devoid of any emotion, flickered towards her. There was no recognition in his stare, no love or even hate. It was dead, and it turned Elena's blood cold. Into his hands Gideon placed the gun he had previously been pointing at her, taking a step back from Bucky.

"Kill her."

Elena gave no reaction to the words he said, too busy watching Bucky and trying to see if he was still there inside. She wanted him to take the gun in his hand and turn it against this man and all the other people in the room. She wanted him to say no. She wanted him to show some sign of life in his eyes. Instead, he gripped the gun tight in his hand and, like a panther stalking it's prey, began to move straight towards her. Elena shook her head, panic rising in her chest as the two men beside her let her go and moved towards the wall. They didn't want to be anywhere near her while the Winter Solier was on the hunt.

"No, Bucky, stop. Don't do this, you - you don't have to do this," she said, taking a step back whenever he would take one forward. Still there was no emotion to be found on his face, just a calculated, complicit expression that reminded her of a robot. That was all he was. When her back was pressed against the closed doors Bucky stopped, and for a moment Elena believed that somehow he had broken out of his mind control. Wordlessly, he used the gun to point towards the floor. Belief suddenly disappearing as quickly as it had come, Elena shook her head, understanding the gesture.

"This isn't happening," she whispered, tears prickling at her eyes. It hurt so bad to see him like this, to silently order her to accept her death on her knees and at his hands. The thought of her dying like that and leaving Bucky in the hands of these people ignited a fury inside that made Elena stepped forward, desperation and anger and hope a storm in her blye eyes.

"This isn't you," she stated, shaking her head as she walked towards him, closing that gap. "Bucky, baby, this isn't you. Wake up. You know who I am. Come back to me!" Elena gripped his arms tightly, earning a slightly surprised expression from him as she stared into his eyes. That expression almost made her want to shout with joy - she had finally gotten something out of him. Elena wasn't going to stop there, though.

"James Buchanan Barnes. Bucky. That's your name and you know me. We met in the Seattle public library. We live in Delilah's shelter together. You saved my life from Thomas. You're not like him, baby, you're you, and you can fight this," she told him, one hand reaching up to cup his face. "Please, Bucky, come back to me. Come back-"

"Soldier."

With that one word Bucky grabbed Elena by the shoulder and pushed down, her legs giving out under her and her knees hitting the concrete hard enough that she let out a gasp of pain, falling onto her side. When she stared up at him his face was wiped once more and the barrel of the gun was pointing towards her. Elena couldn't stop the tears that slowly started spilling down her cheeks.

"No, Bucky," she whispered, slowly sitting up onto her knees. His finger had made its way towards the trigger, brushing over it. Bucky didn't say a word, didn't make a sound, and Elena realized that this was it. In his eyes, she was just another mission. But you won't be one he's made to feel like a monster about in the future, though, a small voice in her head said. Her breathing shaky, she reached out towards him, gently taking hold of the barrel of the gun and pulling it forward, the metal cold against her forehead.

"It's okay, Bucky," she said softly through her tears, looking up at him and even trying to force a smile. "It's alright, baby. I know that - I know that one day you're gonna get out of this. They - They won't hurt you one day. And if I'm not there to see it, then fine. But it's not your fault, Bucky. I forgive you, I forgive you, so don't you go putting the blame on yourself in the future. You could never hurt me. It's okay, Bucky. I-I love you, Bucky Barnes. I'll love you forever. I love you, I love you, I love you."

Elena thought about the day he first walked into the library, dishevelled and unkempt and as lost as a dog. She thought about how he would hide himself away in the corner of the library reading book after book on World War Two, HYDRA, and Captain America, as well as all the other things in history he had missed. She thought about the concern she had seen in his eyes when he had seen her bruises, or how he had gently held her in his arms when she announced that she had left Thomas. Mornings having breakfast with Dee, afternoon walks down by the water, evenings in bed with one another, the rain pouring outside while she would read him to sleep. "Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same." Her life, her story, her soul, was nothing but him, him, him.

"I love you," Elena whispered under her breath repeatedly, taking one last moment to stare into his blue eyes before she shut hers. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love-

[~]