Better Love || A Bucky Barnes Fanfiction

- One Chance -

It had felt like the first time she had landed a jump in gymnastics when she was a child. For a moment she was in the air, flying through it, twisting through it, and then suddenly she was firmly on her feet. The thrill of it had made her gasp as soon as they had come to a stop, the sudden weight hitting her hard. Still, she kept her feet firmly planted on the ground. They weren't to stay there, though. The plan had already been discussed. After a brief farewell with Nebula and Rhodey, the trio set off to their own location many years in the past: Vormir.

It was unlike anything Elena had ever seen. It was desolate, a sharp wind rising and falling as they made the long trek up the mountain. For the first time Elena found herself thanking her decision to take Shuri's serum: she would not have had the fitness to make it up the mountain without it. Still, though. Elena found herself complaining about the arctic hike anyway.

"Jesus, why'd they give us this planet?" she groaned, having to use her hands to push herself over a particularly steep section of the trail. "This is the worst."

"Beat you're wishing you had a full head of hair," Natasha teased, looking up at Clint who was getting a hand from Elena. The man let out a huff, straightening up before groaning and stretching out his back.

"Oh, shut up. Who designed these suits, anyway? They forgot to put in jet packs."

"Right?" Elena agreed, helping Natasha to her feet before the two women started following Clint along the trail. "I'm putting in a formal complaint when we get back."

"How are you struggling, Burroughs? Thought you were on that super soldier serum," Clint said, looking over his shoulder at her. Natasha chuckled at the comment when she saw Elena's reaction, the blonde woman scrunching up her face.

"I can be on that and still hate hills. Mountains. The cold," Elena breathed before letting her head fall back, closing her eyes. "God, I miss Wakanda."

"Agreed," Natasha said, nodding. "After all this we should go back and have a holiday there. I can't feel my fingers."

Both Elena and Clint hummed their support of the idea, and Elena couldn't help but imagine herself back in Wakanda, Natasha and Clint there with her. She saw them sunbathing in chairs by the lakeside, the sound of goats in the far off distance. Nearby, she heard Corrie's laughter and Bucky's voice -

"Speaking of super soldiers, though," Natasha said, elbowing Elena's side gently. "What's been going on with you and Steve?"

"There's a thing going on with you and Steve?" Clint asked, stopping his movement so that the two women behind him almost walked into him. He looked at Elena with eyebrows raised, obviously not completely fulled in on what had been going on while he had been away. 

"No. Well, I mean-" Elena hesitated before Clint laughed, walking once more.

"You really like the older guys-" He teased.

"Shut up!" Elena exclaimed, but all she earned from him was another chuckle. Looking at Natasha Elena answered her question. "Nothing is going on. It's kinda just... floating."

"Floating?" Natasha repeated, head tilted to the side as she looked at Elena with one eyebrow raised. Elena shrugged, looking away from her gaze and up the trail.

"There's a chance now, Tasha, a proper fighing chance that we're gonna get them back. I don't want them to come back and see me with someone else," Elena admitted. Natasha fell silent for a moment, staring at her friend with sad eyes. It was an unfortunate predicament to be in, and one that Natasha had to admit she did not understand. But she had seen the feelings that had grown between the two. It wasn't something she thought they could ignore.

"Five years is a long time, El," Natasha said gently. "Change happens. People grow."

"I... I don't know if I have in that way. Grown out of love with Bucky," Elena said, the corner of her mouth pinching tightly before she let out a sigh. "I think I just love them both."

"You think?"

"I don't know with Steve. It's confusing," Elena admitted, eyebrows furrowed as she thought about the man. Sometimes she thought that she could see a future with him, one where they did more than just stand in a room with each other in awkward silence, or sit and talk and dance around the thoughts that were on their minds. Sometimes she imagined sleeping in his bed, holding his hand, resting her head against his shoulder. Other times, though, when she would look once more upon these visions, she would find that Steve had turned into Bucky, his eyes locking with hers, accusations brimming within them. It hurt to see, but the times when Steve didn't change forms... she felt content. She felt safe.

"You need to find out for sure," Natasha told her.

"How?" Elena asked. Natasha paused for a second before answering with a shrug.

"Kiss him."

"Nat!" Elena exclaimed, earning a bark of a laugh from Clint.

"Do it, he's not terrible. Not amazing either, though," Natasha admitted, a slight frown on her face as she thought about it before she shrugged once more, dismissing the memory that Elena and Clint were still thinking on.

"I had forgotten about that," Elena mused, a little giggle passing through her lips.

"I hadn't known about that, what-" Clint began, looking at Natasha before she interrupted him.

"A conversation for another time," Natasha told him before turning back to the blonde woman. "Listen, Elena. I get that you still love Bucky, but I can see that you've got feelings for Steve, too. And unless you acknowledge those feelings, maybe try and figure them out properly. They're gonna end up hanging around when Bucky gets back and that might be a little awkward for everyone."

"It feels like I'm cheating," Elena murmured, frowning and looking down at her feet. It had been a feeling that she had felt around her ever since she started thinking about Steve in a different light, one that Natasha knew the younger woman struggled with immensely. Coming to a stop Natasha took her hands, lifting up her chin so that their eyes met. 

"No. You're just figuring this new version of you out," Natasha insisted gently, a hand brushing a strand of blonde hair away from Elena's scarred cheek. "So do it before you regret not doing it and you end up living with that feeling of 'what if.'" 

"And who knows?" Clint said from further up the track, looking at them with an eyebrow raised. "Maybe Bucky and Steve will be into that polyamorous lifestyle."

Elena couldn't help but laugh as Natasha scoffed, rolling her eyes and continuing to walk up the mountain.

"Are you sure you're talking about Steve here?" Natasha asked, making Clint chuckle as he started walking once more. Beside her Elena smiled slightly, the other woman catching the look. Gently she nudged Elena with her elbow, looking at her earnestly.

"Think about it, El," she said softly. Elena nodded, giving her friend a smile before looking up the mountain. They still had a long way to go.