Better Love || A Bucky Barnes Fanfiction

- The Librarian -

He had been using all the tricks in the book.

It had been two weeks since he had started going to the Seattle Public Library and in that time he had found himself a place to live. All it had taken was the art of being untraceable, undetectable, overall, a ghost. It hadn't been hard. While the library did have a small security team keeping an eye on the library at night, they never found him. He had been living incognito in the building, stealing food from the cafe downstairs and making a bed for himself in a small, secluded nook that avoided the detection of security or the cameras dotted around the place. He slept in relative peace while it rained outside.

Only relative peace, though. While Bucky was free from having to worry about the security finding him, he was never free from his dreams. They haunted him every night, bringing him back to the place he had escaped from months ago. Names he knew were attached to faces he hated such as Rumlow and Pierce. If the chair wasn't torturing him, then they were. Shadows followed him in his dreams, never leaving his sight, and no matter how hard he tried to run they were always there. They would reach out and drag him back to the cell, and once they were done torturing him they would put him back in that damn cryotube. That was always the worst part, he thought. He had spent so many months trying to reclaim something of his past self, and for them to take him back, torture him, and put him on ice yet again? It broke his heart. It was usually during this time that he would begin to scream, desperately fighting against the shadows. He had taken to sleeping with his glove clenched between his teeth because of this to muffle the sound. So far it had worked and no security had caught him battling his nightmares. 

A routine had finally been built up, though, and for Bucky that felt like the first step in the direction of normality, of fitting in to this new society. Each morning he would wake up and pack his things away before pretending like he had just arrived to the library half an hour after it had opened. During the day he would spend his time reading his books and writing down any facts or memories that would come up. To take a break from the library he would take a walk around different parts of Seattle, creating for himself a map of the city. After stealing something for lunch he would return back to the library, continue reading, and then - at the end of the day when the library was closing - hide himself away until it was safe for him to come out. During the evening he would continue reading until fatigue would take over and he would retire for the night. It wasn't exactly the most ideal situation for a man attempting to get back into society, but it was all he had so far.

Right now he was making his way through yet another book, this one titled The Howling Commandos: The Men Behind Captain America. So far it was one of his favorites as it contained a lot of information about his past life as well as people other than Steve Rogers who had been a part of it. He was currently writing down a memory of a London pub at night when she appeared.

"You're making steady progress through those books, aren't you?"

Bucky looked up towards her and smiled slightly, watching as she came to a stop on the other side of the table, the trolley she pushed stacked with different books. 

"It's interesting stuff," he replied softly, making her smile before she looked down at her trolley. Shuffling through the pile of books, she suddenly picked one up and turned towards him.

"This one's just been returned. I think you might find it helpful for..." she trailed off, seemingly unable to finish her sentence. Clearing his throat Bucky finished it for her.

"For my history paper," he lied. She nodded, eyebrows slightly raised in surprise, holding the book close to her stomach and staring at him with light blue eyes.

"You're a student?" She asked. Bucky nodded, allowing himself to look at her longer than he usually did. He had seen her around almost every day since she'd helped him find his way around, and while the pair had exchanged friendly conversation every now and again, Bucky had never paid too much attention to her. He didn't want to bring attention to himself if he could help it. However, he liked the librarian. She was nice.

Her blonde hair was up in a bun on top of her head today and she was wearing a light blue blouse, dark trousers, and an equally dark blazer. Compared to some of the other librarians he had seen around, she seemed to be one of the younger ones - she couldn't be more than twenty-six or twenty-seven - and yet Bucky believed that she held a relatively high position at the library. She reminded him of someone, however it was hard for Bucky to put his finger on who that person was. He was certain that it was no one of this life, though. A ghost of someone from his past life, lovely and kind. 

"I studied English in California, which I guess is kind of obvious," the woman continued with a little chuckle that Bucky found himself joining in with, something he hadn't done in a long time. 

"So you've always wanted to be a librarian, then?" Bucky asked, surprised at himself for actually making small talk. Any other time he would've let the conversation die then and there. Bucky couldn't help but feel a little proud of himself for doing something that was considered normal. Not noticing the moment of positivity Bucky had just experienced, the librarian shook her head. taking him aback. "You haven't?"

"No, no. I actually have a teaching degree," she told him. 

"And yet you're working here?" Bucky asked, slightly puzzled but quite intrigued about her, something that puzzled him even more. He couldn't remember the last time he had been intrigued about someone other than himself and Steve. With a shy smile she shrugged, pushing back a stray strand of hair that had fallen across her face.

"I like working here. When I moved here things changed a little bit, but that's okay. One day I might end up working as a teacher, but I guess we'll have to wait and see," she replied, before holding out the book towards him, diamond ring glittering in the library lights. "Anyway, I thought you might like this seeing as you're always reading about Captain America and World War Two. It might help with your history paper." 

"Oh, thanks," Bucky said, taking the book from her. Flipping it over he read the title: Brooklyn Boys - Before The War: The Story Of Steven Rogers and James Barnes. While Bucky had read his name next to Steve's multiple times now, he hadn't seen it on a cover of a book. He swallowed, one gloved hand running across the title of the book before he looked up at the librarian. 

"Is it something you might be looking for?" She asked, making him smile.

"Yeah, it is," Bucky replied with a nod, placing the book gently down on the desk. "Thank you..."

"Oh, it's Elena," the woman - Elena - replied, giving the tag hanging off the waist of her trousers a little flick with her fingers. "Elena Burroughs."

"I'm Bucky - Um, Bucky... Georgeson," Bucky lied, pulling up the name of his father to assist in coming up with a last name. 

"Well, it's nice to finally be properly acquainted with you, Bucky," Elena replied with a grin before nodding towards her trolley. "I better put the rest of these books away, but I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, and thanks again for the book," Bucky said, watching as Elena began to walk away before stopping suddenly and looking over her shoulder. 

"You know, just in case you end up getting bored of the scenery around here, you can check the books out. I could set up an account for you, if you like?"

"Oh, I..." Bucky hesitated slightly, finding himself concerned about possibly hurting Elena's feelings if he rejected her offer. It wasn't anything huge, of course, and he was sure that she was professional enough to not care what he said, and yet he found himself thinking over his response anyway. Looking out the window for a moment before turning back to her, he smiled. 

"I could never get bored of the scenery around here."

a/n: Why, Mr Barnes, is that perchance a flicker of heart eyes I see brewing here? Watch this space, people...
xoxo
~DM

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