The New Girl Next Door

•20•

Lauren Jauregui

"Will you still love me
When I'm no longer young and beautiful?" Lana Del Rey's voice says through the radio in the kitchen.

"Lo, isn't this your song?!" My mom screams from the kitchen.

I look up from my spot on the couch and immediately grow happy.

Lana Del Rey is my role idol and I love dancing to this song.I start to get up from the couch, but a little girl beats me to it, raising out of the spot that I'm in.

As she races to the kitchen, I can see a familiar ponytail, telling me that this little girl is my young self.

I  stand up from the couch and follow after her. As I past by a wall mirror, I can see that I am still me.

The only thing is that I'm dressed in all white and my hair is straightened to my back."Hey, that's my baby girl!" My dad says from inside the kitchen.

I continue to walk into the kitchen. As I near the kitchen, I can see my younger self showing off in front of my parents, mocking Michael Jackson's moves, a huge smile on her face.

I can feel my heart warming at the sight of my mom smiling, her smile as big as ever.

The smile that I've missed so much.I remember this day.It's 2006 I'm only six years old. That was the day...

"Hold on, Lo. I got a call," my mother says, picking up her ringing phone from the kitchen table.

My younger self doesn't mind, she only keeps dancing while my dad watches on, laughing and joking around.

I watch as my mother walks past my present self and into the living room, talking on the phone.

I turn around and follow my mother into the living room. She sits on the leather recliner and as I near her, I can hear her conversation.

"So how long do you think I have, Dr. Kendall?" My mother asks, her words sending my stomach into a puzzle of knots.

I stand in front of her as she awaits an response.

Every second seems to go by so painfully.After a second she gasps, covering her mouth," 5 weeks? Wh- I thought it was at least a couple of months."I can feel the back of my eyes burning, tears threatening to spill out.

Five weeks. And she didn't tell us..."Yes, I understand. I just don't know if I can tell them just now... Yes I understand. Okay. I'll call you later, thank you."

As soon as she hangs up the phone, she breaks down into silent sobs, hugging her chest as if her life depended on it.

I can feel my lip quivering as I squat in front of her, wanting to hug her. She looks so broken down up close. As if she aged ten years in a two minute time span.

I come closer to her and wrap my arms around her,"mama. It's gonna be okay," I whisper, as if she can hear me."I know, baby. I know," she says, wrapping her arms around me.

The fact that she can hear and see me surprises me and I pull away."Mama, you can see me?" I ask, staring into her eyes."Yes, baby. I can," she says, a weak smile coming to her face.

"Oh my god! I-"She interrupts me, placing a finger on my lips,"hush, baby. I've been good where I'm at. So don't you worry about me. I'm the one worrying about you."

"You know what's been happening?" I ask, surprised to the max."Yes. And I see the position you're in. You've been in a coma for about a week."

"A week?"

"Yes . And if you don't know... People up top are rooting for you. It's not your time to go yet. You've got a lot of people who care about you, so the best thing you can do right now is fight. You're a strong girl, you know that?"I nod, feeling tears fall from my eyes.