Abused But Loved (Ziall Mpreg)

Chapter 5~

Chapter Song~ Come on skinny love just last the year pour a little salt we were never here my, my,my,my,my,my,my,my, staring at the sink of blood and the crushed veneer  I tell my love to wreck it all cut out all the ropes and let me fall my,my,my,my,my,my,my,my right in the moment this order's tall and I told you to be patient and I told you to be fine and I told you to be balanced and I told you to be kind  in the morning I'll be with you but it will be a different 'kind' cause I'll be holding all the tickets  and you'll be owning all the fines come on skinny love what happened here suckle on the hope in lite brassiere my,my,my,my,my,my,my,my sullen load is full so slow on the split and I told be patient and I told you to be fine and I told you to be balanced and I told you to be kind now all your love is wasted then who the hell was I  cause now I'm breaking at the britches and at the end of all your lines~  Skinny Love By: Birdy

Zayn's P.O.V

Niall's pregnant... I knew it could happen but it still a shocking thing to hear but I'm the only one to be blamed if I didn't do the things I did to him he wouldn't have bruises and wouldn't be pregnant. Or maybe he would be pregnant and we would be married. Who knows, All I know right now is that I'm an asshole and I don't deserve Niall but here he is giving me another chance.  I can't help but be thankful I love him and I'm happy he didn't leave me. I laid on the couch with Niall snuggled up to my chest while music played softly. I had my hand softly rubbing Niall's stomach while he hums to the song and kisses my cheek every once in a while. We just lay there in a comfortable silence before Niall pulls away from me making me look at him.

"Zayn.. can I ask you a serious question?"

"Yeah, baby go ahead.."

"You have to answer... okay?"

"N- Okay..."

" Why did you start hitting me?"

"I-I... Niall... lets not talk about this."

"No, I want to know what I did wrong that made you start hitting me for the last two years."

I flinch at his words because it's true. I did hit him for two years. I love him and this might sound crazy but it killed me every time I hit him or forced I'm to have sex with me.

" Niall, please lets not get into this..."

" Zayn just tell me!!"

He yelled making me feel angry.

"Fine!!! You want to know why I fucking hit you?!"

"Yes!! Dammit Zayn just fucking tell me!"

" I fucking hit you because I didn't want you to fucking leave me!!!"

I yelled again and stood up not wanting to see the look on his face. I had my back facing him and focused at the wall.

"There.. now you know.. I hit you because I didn't want you to leave me.. are you happy now?" I say quietly.

" I-I don't understand..."

he said as he stood up and backed away from me. I turned to him and took a step forward only to have him take a step back.

"I-I thought.. if I hit you.. you would be scared and you wouldn't leave me because of how scared you were of me... I know how stupid it sounds and believe me when I say this, I love you and it killed me to hurt you and force you to have sex with me. I-I .. I-I'm sorry.."

I walked passed him going upstairs to our bedroom leaving him downstairs. I didn't want to know how he felt about that.. I didn't want him to leave me. But, it's all my fault if I hadn't been so stupid then he wouldn't have  a reason to leave me. I love him... if he leaves me it would kill me. But, I would understand why he would leave me. I paced back and forth in the room before I finally stopped and just stared at the wall thinking of how I just ruined everything.