The World is Ugly, But You're Beautiful to Me. (Frerard)

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((2/21/16- hey guys! this is future olivia just telling all new readers that the beginning of this story, in my opinion, is crap. but, I've come to really love how this story progresses, and I'd hate to delete it when a lot of you have told me you like it. I'll try to one day rewrite these beginning chapters, but for now please bare with them. thanks, ily guys. xoolives. ♡))

I laid in my bed pondering, waiting for the moment my mom walked in to tell me to get ready for school, well more like for hell. I couldn't sleep, not after I had a nightmare in an attempt to sleep a few hours earlier. I had been awake in my bed, staring blankly at my bland white ceiling, considering many things but not thinking about anything exactly.

"Destroy what destroys you"

I considered this saying a lot.

Now, If I were to do that, what exactly would I destroy?

I suppose I would believe I should destroy the other teens at my school who mock me for bullshit reasons,

But I don't think that's what really destroys me.

After crossing that out, I'd believe I should destroy the world, and why shouldn't I? It's been nothing but torture to me after elementary. Nobody's really helped except for when my parents tried, but their divorce just showed me even more that nothing lasts.

But then again, it's not the world destroying me.

I know what destroys me, it's simple, yet complicated.

It's myself, I'm destroying me. Not on purpose, but slowly and by complete coincidence and irony. Now, if I were to destroy what destroys me, I'd be destroying myself, but since I'm already destroying myself, it gets even more complex. At the same time, since I am destroying myself because I'm destroying myself, I must destroy myself even more, thus destroying what's destroying me...which is myself.

Well, fuck.

My mother knocked on my door, breaking this eternal chain of destruction thought that's pretty much like a black hole.

"Frank, honey get up, you gotta go to school" she yelled at me from the other side of the door. I grumbled, slowly stretching myself out of my heap of pillows and blankets I call a bed and groggily standing up.

"I'm up" I said loud enough for my mom to hear. I heard her footsteps walk away again, then I walked reluctantly to my closet, pulling out a faded Beastie Boys shirt with ripped jeans. I undressed and redressed into these clothes, slipping on my beanie and black converse, slinging my backpack on, and going into the kitchen.

"Hey Frankie, what do you want for breakfast?" My mom asked me as she washed a few dishes. I shrugged, still drowsy from getting up from my bed.

"I think I'll just grab something on my way to school from the convenience store" I told her.

"You sure? I have some time to make you food before going in to work."

"It's fine, I just feel like something small."

"Alright, love you. Be safe!" She said, coming over and kissing my forehead.

"Love you too". I smiled slightly back at her, walking out the door to my house.

I began making my way towards my school. It was near the end of fall, so it seemed to be getting chillier. I shivered a bit, cursing at myself for forgetting my jacket. Leaves fluttered across the sidewalk, and a crisp smell of autumn seemed to be everywhere. Fortunately for me, I left earlier than all the other kids in my block who go to school with me, so there was no one to bother me.