The World is Ugly, But You're Beautiful to Me. (Frerard)

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Eventually, after an hour of wandering around lost in frustration and thought, I arrived at my house. My mom wasn't home yet, so I unlocked the door myself, throwing my stuff down by the wall and going to lock myself in my room.

I didn't think I'd feel so depressed after kicking Gerard out of my life, especially because I've done it with other people who've tried to get close before. I know it's not uncommon to be scared of letting people in, but it's really a crappy feeling when you feel this heart broken about it. I should have never let him talk to me, I should've never agreed to meeting up with him and his friends, I should've never thought I'd be okay when I let someone get that friendly with me.

I fully regretted meeting the beautiful creature that is Gerard Way, because he's making me feel this pain in my chest. I hate all of this, all of this anger, all of this rage, all of this regret, all this sorrow, all these feelings of affection. None of them are helping me, so why are they here? I wasn't even sure why I snapped at him so harshly, maybe it's because I've been used by guys like him before. Still, I guess it was better to do it now then let him come to hate me by himself.

I covered my eyes with my palms as if felt tears forming. Why am I crying about this? I only knew Gerard for a few days, and he barely knew me. This is not some shitty romance novel where it's love after only a couple days and they live in joy forever. This is real life. Real life where hearts get broken every second, most loves go unrequited until the hopeless idiot moves on, people get stepped on, and weaklings like me end up doing nothing about it.

My mind was so fogged up that I didn't notice my mom yelling to me from the door. I sluggishly got up, making my way towards where my mother was putting up her bag and work supplies.

"Hey" I whispered to her, hoping she didn't hear my small sniffles.

"Hi sweetie how was-", she paused when she turned around to see me. "Frankie, what happened? Why's your face bruised? Why were you crying?" My mother frantically asked, worry flooding all throughout her tone.

"H-how can you tell I was crying?" I asked, wanting to tear up again by seeing how much pain my mom seemed to be in because of me.

"Your eyes turn a lighter shade of hazel when you cry, now what happened?!"

I didn't know what to tell her. What was I supposed to? That her son told off some jerks at school and got beat up for it, then skipped the rest of the day to go over to a guy's house, who he's only known for about two days, and then cussed him out after he cleaned her son's wounds? I'm pretty sure no mother would be proud of any of that.

"I don't really want to talk about it at the moment" I simply told her, knowing I'd break down if I did tell her. She looked at me as if she was about to force the truth out of me, but then she softened with understanding, scooting closer to hug me.

"Okay, but you gotta tell me later, when you're ready" Mom said to me, and I just nodded, soaking in her warmth she gave off, hoping to get some happiness temporarily.

~

I woke up the next morning feeling like absolute shit again, going back to the same attitude I had of "not wanting to go to high school, a.k.a. Hell" that I was used to the day before I met Gerard. Before I left the house, my mom told me she'd let me stay home, but I know that'd just be running from my fears, and that's not what I wanted to do. I just wanted to get through the day, maybe screw around with a water fountain so it'll spray in someone's face, then go home and sleep.

I didn't want to swing by my usual gas station since Daniel could usually tell if something's wrong with me, so I just skipped breakfast. I felt like I'd throw it up anyways. When I turned the corner to the school gates, I half expected to see Gerard's crimson red hair sticking out from behind it like yesterday, but then I remembered I pushed him away painfully yesterday. I passed through the groups of idiotic high schoolers quicker than usual, just trying to get to the bleachers so I could relax.

I sat down at the lowest one, feeling too lazy to climb higher. Watching the track team go around the field made me a bit dizzy, so I focused on the lyrics blasting in my ears. I was so focused on them, in fact, that I couldn't hear some idiots yelling my supposed nickname from in front of me. I took out my earbuds, mentally preparing myself to deal with these douche bags.

"Hey faggot! I heard you got beat up by Trevor!" Derek yelled to me, him and his two followers snickering and walking over to the bleachers I sat at.

"Yeah, I threatened to show all the girls in school pictures of you two doing butt stuff together" I retorted back, not caring if he beat me up as well.

Derek didn't react as I thought he would. Instead, he came closer to me, inching next to my face. "I think it's funny how you spew nonsense and crap just to hide your lack of worth as a human" he said menacingly right to me. It was true I didn't care if he hurt me physically, but I didn't prepare myself to hear hurtful words. I wasn't sure why I was so weak towards cruel words, since I'm used to hearing them screamed at me down the halls everyday, but I guess after the events yesterday I didn't want to be brought down anymore than I was.

"Let me tell you something, No one at this school would give one damn if you were killed, or if you just disappeared. You're pretty much nothing. You're lucky your mom would notice that you weren't around the house to make it depressing or not even the police would know about you going missing" Derek spat at me, and I felt like breaking at that moment.

"Fuck you, what the hell did I ever do to you to deserve you coming up to me everyday and torturing me?! Are you a sadist? Do you get a sick kick out of abusing others?" I yelled back at him. He looked at me disgusted, then punched me in the stomach. I thought I'd cough up blood.

"You know why I screw with you, because you're an eye sore. It's annoying just to see you. You are such a shitty loser, and it just brings the whole school down to have you here. Hell, it brings down the whole world. You have no place, no life, no meaning. It would be better if you were neve-". Derek would've finished his terribly true words and succeeded in making me cry if it hadn't been for him getting punched in the face.

"Hey you piece of crap, why don't you go back to your group of 'secretly liking dicks' jocks before I knock you the hell out?" Gerard told Derek, kicking him in the ribs. Derek gasped for air as he landed on the ground.

"W-Way? What the hell, you bastard!?" Derek choked out, trying to get up, but Gerard kicked him down again. He leaned down to Derek's face, a frightening look I'd never seen on Gerard's face coming into view.

Grabbing his collar, Gerard stared Derek straight in the eyes while he spoke. "Stay away from Frank or I swear to fucking christ I'll turn that pretty boy face of yours into tree bark!" Gerard yelled at him, then head-butted him.

"Gerard, it's fine, s-stop" I told him, barely able to speak. I got up from the bleachers and tried pulling Gerard off Derek, but he was so pissed he wouldn't let go. I was hoping teachers wouldn't see us, but with just my luck the coach came running over, seeing Gerard with Derek in his grasps and me looking as if I was helping Gerard beat him up.

"IERO! WAY! PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE!" The coach screamed at us. He grabbed us both, by the arms and lead us over into the building, leaving Derek looking like the victim all over again.

"Frank, I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself after seeing him treat you like that" Gerard whispered to me from behind Coach Buzzcut's back (that's not his real name, but I liked calling him it because of Beavis and Butthead's coach). I didn't say anything back to him, I was still too shocked and broken from Derek's words to speak without gasping. I didn't think there could be a morning this shitty, but I guess my life is just that great.

~

A/N:

it's not an author's note, it's an idea. ;u;

...That is all.

also thanks a bunch for reading, ily all, and don't do drugs kids.