Irhaboggle Pride (2018) 30 Days, 30 Stories

Worrying

"Spirited little things, aren't they?" Lester smiled as Iris and Clover ran off towards the Pride Parade's main fairgrounds.

"Just like when they were little," Rusty agreed, a nostalgic smile spreading across his face. "I can only hope that they stay safe..." It felt like only yesterday, he was rocking Clover in his arms and feeding her from a bottle. Now, she was running around the fairgrounds... unsupervised. Yes, Iris was with her, but that didn't really count, per se...

"Don't worry, love," Diane was quick to comfort her husband. "They're adults now, I'm sure they can handle themselves."

"I know, I know," Rusty promised. "I just worry..."

"Don't we all?" Mae chuckled. Although she didn't worry nearly as much as Rusty did, because no one out-worried Rusty, Mae was certainly familiar with all the heart attacks a child could give a parent.

In fact, Mae had even suffered a minor one at the start of the Pride Parade earlier that morning. A few religious zealots had been at the gates, already protesting the event. Knowing how sensitive Iris was to that sort of thing, Mae had worried that seeing the protestors would upset her. But contrary to her fears, Iris only gave them all a disdainful look before walking right through the gates with her head held high.

But even though Mae's concerns surrounding Iris were assuaged, just seeing the protestors reminded her of how many people weren't as confident as Iris. How many queer children still hid in the closet out of fear? How many were unable to come out because their families wouldn't be accepting? How many had run away or taken their own lives out of the sheer helplessness of it all? It was enough to activate Mae's parental worry all over again. She could never understand the mind of a parent who would cast their child out just because that child was queer. And Mae lived in fear of the day Iris might run into one of these monsters...

And Mae knew that these were fears Rusty shared with her. It was why he was worrying. As safe as pride events usually were, there was always the threat of someone homophobic sneaking into the grounds to cause trouble. But the problem didn't always come from the outside. Rusty could still remember, with hideous clarity, the night he and Clover had gone to a queer film festival only for some girl to try groping Clover halfway through one of the movies. So Rusty was always worried that Clover would run into another creep, queer or not. Rusty had physically thrown the other girl off her daughter. Despite having the same lanky build Clover did, in moments of protective rage, he was very strong indeed. It got him kicked out of the movie theater, but he had zero regrets.

But Mae and Rusty weren't the only ones worrying. Diane and Lester, relaxed as they seemed, also feared for their daughters. Diane knew about Clover's run-in at the film festival, so she knew that even other queer people could pose a threat. And there had been one night when Iris had suffered a minor anxiety attack while having a sleepover with Clover.

A nightmare had sent her from the bedroom to the kitchen, wanting a midnight snack to calm her nerves. Diane had heard her moving through the kitchen and come to comfort her. After a bit of coaxing, Iris confessed that, in the past, the religious zealots had gotten into her head and left her in doubt about her sexuality. Even though those days were over, the memories lingered, and that was what Diane feared. Harm could last long after the initial event was over.

And Lester understood all of this as well, his own fears on a slightly larger scale. As he watched Iris and Clover run across the fairgrounds, he heaved a sad, tired sigh. Sure, he worried about animosity from other people, queer or not. And he knew how dangerous self-doubt could be, and how bigoted remarks could fester in the brains of their victims, but his biggest concern was society as a whole. Things were getting better, yes, but there was still a lot of work left to do. Even if these parades were a safe space for queer people, what happened once it was time to go home? What happened when June ended? They would be forced back into the "normal" world, and issues like marriage equality were just the tip of the iceberg.

He worried that Iris and Clover would suffer in the future because of their identity as queer people. What if they couldn't find jobs or homes? What if they were ostracized or attacked? What if they were mocked, slandered, threatened or ignored? There were still far too many reports of violence, disownment, suicide, job loss and ruined reputation for Lester to not worry. So long as any form of bigotry or discrimination existed, he was going to keep worrying for Iris and Clover. That's just how parents operated.

While Iris and Clover spent the entire day running around the fair, laughing and partying as they made new friends all over the place, their parents stayed behind and worried. It was not all-consuming, but it still was all too real. They all wanted the same thing! They just wanted their children (and everyone else's children) to have happy, healthy, safe, successful lives. No parent ever wanted to see their child in danger!

But at the same time, not a single one of the four would've changed Clover or Iris for anything in the entire world. They were all more than happy to support their children, queer or not, and they wouldn't have done a single thing differently even if they were presented with the chance. Yes, life was hard and scary and dangerous, but they still didn't regret the way either girl had turned out. And, as parents, they'd accepted long ago that, if it became necessary, they would fight with their lives to protect their children's.

That didn't mean they were going to literally engage in battle, or sacrifice their lives for their children's, but they would all gladly spend the rest of their lives pushing for equality if it gave Iris and Clover even a tiny chance at living a slightly better life than before. It was an honor and pleasure both, in all their eyes, to protect and help their children in any way they could, even if it was as simple as listening to them talk or helping them run a pride booth. Support was important and always mattered, even if it was given in small, simple ways.

"Don't worry," Diane repeated, speaking to all of them. "They'll be just fine."

"Yeah, I know they will," Mae gave her a smile. "I believe in them."

"Yeah, they're big girls now, and we'll do our best to help them however we can," Lester agreed encouragingly. The other three were quick to agree, and eventually, even Rusty looked a little bit more at peace. Yeah, he was still going to worry every single day of his life, but with Mae, Lester and Diane at his side, he'd be able to keep his head just a little bit easier. And like Lester had said, they would do their best to help Iris and Clover so that even if things weren't perfect, they still weren't powerless, and they never ever would be!

AN: Shout out to all of my allies and supportive family/friends! I appreciate and love you all! I wouldn't be half the girl I am today without you, so thank you so much for believing in me when I couldn't do it myself!