''Us and Them''

what i deserve!

you get what you deserve!

what if i work so hard for something i want to get but i never happen to have it, does that mean i dont deserve it? its something i find really good and struggle so much for it. what then? does that mean i dont deserve something good?

patience!

still not getting it. why?

do i even know what 'deserve' means?

it isnt about getting something you want. its about what your potential is and if that thing which you really wish to have, matches with your calibre! you might not want the below standard.

but if i freaking want it then idc about its standard! how do i know if it matches with my calibre?

you'll know it. being stubborn to get it will teach you that. but it will have its cost. once youll have it, the emotions you attach to it will start fading away. in the end, youll be convinced that you didnt deserve it. it wasnt meant for you. youll secretly long for gettin rid of it.

what then? will it be too late?

its never too late. you learnt your lesson. now start taking a few steps back. take it not as a punishment. suppose you had an empty glass. it needed to be filled. u tried filling it but now its full. you need to empty it. watch it grow larger. yes we all have differently sized glass or pitcher and each experience of ours eventually grows it larger. one is ought to fill it several times before finalizin that now it has been filled with the right amount.

what if emptying that glass and retracing my steps prove to be harder for me?

the first step is always the hardest! sth hard doesnt mean u gotta be petrified or fear. it simply indicates the huge amount of effort you will have to put in at first. it will get easier bit by bit. its the allocation of your struggle. more of it in the first few instances, lesser and lesser in the last.