Unheard Words

It's Only Been a Day

I miss you. And what's sad is it's only been a day since you've stopped texting me. You're escaping reality, you're with your friends. It's not like we've broken up but I miss talking to you, and maybe that's a fault of our own because we text so much.
It's easy to talk to you, I can tell you anything even though sometimes I don't want to because I'm me and I worry about things; responses and reactions. But we talk about anything and everything and nothing at all. We sit and talk for hours.
Those nights when I come over, and it's 1 in the morning and I know I need to leave soon before I fall asleep in your arms, but I can't yet because we're just talking about the world and life. Those nights are some of my favorite. Because I'm laying in your arms, and you kiss my head and my cheeks. When I can look up at you and steal a kiss. When we talk about life, and us and the future we dream of. I can tell you how much I love you and how much I want a future with you and it's not weird or awkward because you do too.
I love the nights when we sit on your porch or in your backyard and star gaze. When you text me to look outside because you think I'll find the moon pretty and your response to me liking it was "I think a boyfriend should always tell his girlfriend when he thinks something in the sky is pretty" because that's who you are. Because I love you. But I love you isn't enough. It isn't a big enough word, it isn't a strong enough word because the feelings are dripping out of it. If I love you was a sponge there's still water all over the floor and I have come no where near cleaning it all up.
To be honest it scares me sometimes. Because anything can happen, anything can change and then I listen to the four voicemails you left me a year ago and I hear your words. "Because you're it." Because I'm it. Because you see a future with me and so do I and I don't want anyone to take it from me. I will fight tooth and nail before I let someone take it from me and if they do, they'll be ripping it from my hands so tightly curled in it.
Even in the bad moments you make me smile. That's how I know we'll be okay, because sometimes the arguments will get bad and then one of us will crack a joke and the other won't get mad but laugh instead and that's how I know we aren't mad at each other anymore. That's how I know we can take a step back and talk about things without the explosions and the tears. Because I can get so mad my eyes wiggle and I see red. But then I jusy cry because I'm sensitive inside and you get frustrated because there I go again. Shedding tears.
And all I ever do is talk about how much I love you, since we've stopped arguing every other day, since we've been happier. We've grown warmer, because even when I was mad you were my happy place; but now I don't get mad anymore. Now you're my bliss. And I feel too much because I'm emotional, and goddamn do you make me feel. It pours out of me so much, I love too much and I feel too much. And when it comes to you I can't stop feeling. It's why things bother me like they do, it's why things can piss me off so fast, it's why you can make me laugh so easily even when I'm crying and mad. Because when it comes to you I never stop feeling. Because my heart feels like it's ready to burst and I don't know how I'm going to survive a life like this but I don't want to live a life if I'm not gonna feel the way I feel now. Because I was a hollowed out shell of myself three years ago and you filled in the pieces. I once told you I felt in gray, that everything felt gray and you told me you'd make me feel color again. I don't even think you knew what I meant, knew what you meant. And now I'm overflowing in a rainbow of a waterfall and it's because of you. Because when I'm happy, and angry, sad and content. I pour out the colors, the emotions, the feelings. And in all the good ways and the bad ones, That's thanks to you. And I would rather feel in color like this then live in gray. And I would rather overflow with love then not know the feel of it. I love you. And that word isn't enough, it never will be because this is more then love. You've told me that for a very long time. If soulmates were real you'd be mine. 
I miss you and i don't know how to survive when you're going to be gone for a month because it's been a Day and you're only gone for the weekend. But I can't wait for Monday to come so I can see your face, kiss your lips. Because i love you with everything I am and I'm so scared you'll find someone better. But i know you won't because you're it, and I'm it. And we're going to be so happy.