Unheard Words

Conversations

When I was little I remember vividly having a conversation with my grandpa. We talked for quite sometime in my grandma's bedroom while he sat in the corner about just life and stuff. I was little so it wasn't like we were having a deep in depth conversation about life but it was a nice conversation until my mom came over. She opened the door and he got up and smiled. Out a finger to his mouth in a 'shh' motion. He said goodbye to me and leaned over and kissed my grandma on the cheek. My mom walked in and I was mad because she made him leave. She didn't understand what I meant. Made who leave? So I told her. "me and papa Chet were talking". I told her what we were talking about, I told her what he looked like and what he was wearing. And she looked at me in awe almost. Because papa Chet had died 2 years before I was born. I don't know about you but I believe in ghosts. Especially because of that.
When my mom and dad were still dating they would go into her basement and hang out doing whatever. My grandma had a sign, if she started coming downstairs she would flicker the lights to give them a warning (pretty nice of her honestly) and then walk down the stairs. On the day of my grandmother's funeral my mom walked into my room and asked me if the hallway light in front of my door had been doing that for awhile. I was confused, came out and saw the light flickering. It hadn't been doing that since I used the light last and once we turned it off again it had stopped. I can't help but think maybe that was her stopping by.
I got to talk to my grandpa, who I had never met when I was little. I really wish that you could come and talk to me for awhile too.
We played penny enny today. Rummy too. We went through all the things in your house and picked and choose what we wanted. We read the letters and all the cards you kept. We cried.
I opened the closet and saw your coat hanging there. The bright red coat you always used to wear and I started to cry. I played the song you taught me on the piano and could have sworn you were standing in the doorway like you used to watching me. I found some old toys, my siblings found things from them. Pictures of them and you. I didn't. I just wanted one picture of you and me together, or maybe a note I wrote you and I couldn't find anything. I'm a little heartbroken over it but maybe it's there. Maybe I didn't look hard enough. It's because I'm the youngest we couldn't spend as much time together.
I'm still hoping I see you again. Maybe when everyone's sleeping. Maybe when my mom's gone. I hope not, because then maybe she can see you too. And you can tell each other you love each other. She can hear your voice again one last time before you're gone forever. If I don't get to see you or papa again I hope you're both dancing together in heaven. You've been apart for some time, you two are owed this.
I love you both.
I hope we can talk again soon.