Unheard Words

It's Been Too Long

Shes the one who made me believe in a god, shes also the one who made me stop believing.
It's kind of funny, because i know thats the last thing that she would want for me yet i just cant believe in a god that would take her away. She was kind, so kind and so helpful. She was mom second mom because she was always there for me. She seemee nicer then my own sometimes and always had great advice. She was a helping hand when i needed one. She had four kids, two of which were my besy friend and the other two who i really liked. She offered to help me pay for things, she offered to drive me around, spread herself even thinner for a kid who wasnt even hers.
Shes the one i prayed with when i finally accepted jesus. And yet shes the one who made me stop believing. Because why would god take someone like her away from the world? What were we without her hugs? What were we without her brownies? She was always thoughtful to my pickiness. She was always thoughtful to the things i liked, she took the time to include me in every little thing. Its been 3 years, and i miss her. I dont know how long it will effect me, probably forever. But i cant get the thought of my parents waking me up and telling me the news. I cant stop but thinking how unfair the world is, especially to those 4 girls.
I miss you, i hope you reached the heaven you always believed you would.