Book Two - It Should Have Been Us

Chapter Eighteen

{James’ POV}

Hey…

Why are you still up?

I was waiting for you. How are you?

Are you gonna be okay?

Yeah… No. Actually, can we talk?

Yeah, sure.

I sat down next to her.

Nadine, I… I’m sorry.

It’s not your fault.

No, I’m not apologizing for what Nath and Sam did. I’m saying sorry
for what I did.

What do you mean?

When you got pregnant, I thought you did it intentionally. I mean, you
knew I didn’t want to use condoms. That’s the main reason we got you
on the pill. And the one thing I was expecting you to do was to not
miss it and you did. And that totally pissed me off. We were at the
peak of our careers. We’ve made so many plans. Together.

And then I got pregnant.

Yes, that wasn’t part of the plan. At least not for a little while.
When you missed your period and we asked you to take the test, I knew
in my heart that if you did, it would be positive. But you kept on
dodging us. You know how much I hated it when you try to avoid facing our problems head on.

That’s ‘cause I knew you would ask me to get rid of it!

Yes, ‘cause it was the right thing to do.

You still think that? Even after meeting Reese?

No, of course not. But let me be honest here. If we get a chance to
turn back the hands of time, I would still feel the same way. I would
still ask you to have an abortion.

Why?

Because we were too young. Our careers are finally taking off. And I
knew being pregnant scared the shit out of you and I didn’t want you
scared. Besides, whatever happened to what we talked about? We agreed
way back that if we get into that type of situation, that we’ll take
care of it. That we would prioritize our careers.

James, I’m not Ericka. If there’s one thing I learned about myself
years ago, it’s that I could never do what she did. I realized I can’t
give up our baby’s life.

Yeah. I figured. I’m sorry you had to go through that ordeal alone.
We were quiet for a few moments.
I didn’t go sleeping around the minute you left.

Huh?

I never doubted the baby was mine. But Q was so full of himself, so
when he got here after visiting you in Japan, I had to punch the
living daylights out of him. When you gave birth and he posted a
picture of you three as if you’re the complete family, it was the
first time I cheated on you.

Was that suppose to make me feel better? She smirked.

I guess not. I deliberated telling her, but I wanted to clear the air
completely. I went to see you. I think Reese was about 2 months old
then. I boarded the plane on impulse. And then I saw you at the park
with the baby stroller.