Book Two - It Should Have Been Us

Chapter Twenty

{James' POV}

I went home the minute I got Lauren's call. The house was dark. They left with Reese and went to our old house in BelAir to give me and Nadine privacy. I searched all over the house but couldn't find her. I was on my way out the door of the master's bedroom when I heard it. The sound of her soft cries. I followed the sound which led me to my room – well, the room I've been using at least. I tried the door and found it unlocked.

Nadine...?

She was in fetal position in the middle of the bed, hugging her princess pillow.

Hey... I quietly walked towards her. Sitting cautiously on the bed, I touched her shoulder carefully. Nadine.

Her cries grow louder. It tugs my heart. I don't like seeing her like this. She turned around, facing me. Sorry... *sniff* I barged in here.. *sniff*

Hey...it's okay. This is your room after all... And it is. I've made this space especially for times like these. It's the "Naddie Room" for a reason. I wanted her to have her personal space for when I make her feel any kind of hurt. This time though, she's using it for a different kind of hurt – and not one which I've caused. She looked like she's been crying for hours.

I... I just feel safer here. I don't know why *more sniffling*

Hush...it's okay...it's okay. How are you?

I don't know. Then she abruptly sat on the bed and turned to hug me. With her head on the juncture of my neck, she cried some more. And I let her. Her crying turned to sobs. Growing quieter. Pagod *sniff* na'ko umiyak... She uttered quietly, her voice growing weak.

Shhhh.... I rubbed circles on her back, trying to soothe her. But it only triggered more crying from her. For a moment, I was transported back to the past when she used to cry on my shoulders during Talk Back and You're Dead. But I swear, the sound of her cries this time seems more painful than that. I let her cry some more. It took her 15 maybe 20 minutes more for the cries to finally subside. Her arms started to loosen up, and when I looked at her, her eyes are already snapped shut. But tears are still falling on her face and her chest is still heaving from all the crying. I carefully laid her down on the bed. I tucked her in the covers and was about to get on the bed when her hand tugged on my arm.

Don't leave please. She pleaded, her eyes still closed.

Shhh... it's okay. I won't leave. I'll stay here. And I did. I just toed off my shoes and lay down next to her. She draped her arm around my middle and a few seconds later, she's sound asleep; making occasional sniffling sounds.

I stared at her face. I wonder if I caused her this much pain when she had to leave me. I've never regretted any of the decisions I've made in my life. Except now. I look at her tear-stricken face, her nose all red and all I can think of is that I don't ever want to cause her any more pain. And that if I can take back any of my mistakes in the past, I would. I would do anything for her. Nath and I broke up just a few months ago and it didn't even come close to what I feel right now – seeing Nadine so heartbroken feels like my heart's being clenched in a fist. Paulo texted me a few minutes after Lauren's call. But I never got the chance to call him back because my mind was filled with Nadine. Taking out my phone, I dialed Paulo's number. It rang a few times before he answered.

How is she? He asked even before I can say anything.

Heartbroken. What the hell happened, man? It was hard to make him feel how pissed off I was when I'm trying to lower my voice so as not to wake up Nadine.

We broke up.

Obviously. Why?

She didn't tell you?