Book Two - It Should Have Been Us

Chapter Twenty Four

{James' POV}

Her soft whimpers echoed inside the room. Nadine opened her eyes, but I caressed her hips.

Go back to sleep, love. I whispered in her ears.

I picked up Jamie from her crib on my way to the fridge. I hum softly while drawing circles on her cheek as we wait for her milk to warm up a bit. She settles down and breathed a contented sigh just as the nipple touches the side of her lip. I've done this a number of times but I still find myself riveted at the sight of her as she sucks hungrily, her eyelids closed, her little heart beating against mine. I refuse to call her Natsumi even when I insisted on that first name. Jamie seems more apt, she's mine. My little angel.

I don't think I'd ever get tired of looking at her. I just got her to burp when our door opened and Reese walked in, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

Hey, bud. Can't sleep?

He just yawned and climbed up the bed, settling next to Nadine. Nadine's arms automatically wrapped around him. With a stupid grin on my face, I sat down on the bed near Reese, Jamie still in my arms, I tucked my wife and our son in the blanket. I would lie next to them with Jamie but I'm afraid Reese will crush her. The bed is a king size but Nadine would always roll over to my side of the bed, crowding my space. I thought for a bit then decided to walk over to Nadine's side. I set Jamie down on the bed behind Nadine, lying sideways next to her.

Nadine purred in her sleep, and then she slowly rolled on her back. She yawned then her eyes fluttered open.

Hi...

Hey, tulog ka pa. I gave her a reassuring smile.

Ikaw?

I'm good for a couple more hours.

She glanced beside her and then she yawned again before rising up from the bed. She lifts Reese a bit and rolled him towards Jamie.

He's heavy.

She covers her yawn this time. Okay lang. Settling behind Reese, She lifts the blanket over them, looking at me in question.

Nah, we're good, I tugged Jamie's baby blanket over her. I wasn't feeling cold in the slightest, but I felt Nadine wiggling her toes and touching mine anyway. We stayed that way for a few minutes, just looking at our kids between us.

She looked over Reese's head and smiled at me then closed her eyes, only to open them again. Her gaze lingers on my face for a while.

James...

Hmmm?

Let's try again. My thumb caressing Jamie's little hand stopped. I searched her face.

You mean that?

Yeah.

Nadine. I sighed. I didn't realize I was holding my breath. Thank you. That means a lot to me.

I know.

My hand searched for hers under the blanket, intertwining our fingers over Reese's little tummy.

And just in case it wasn't clear. I...love you.

I know. She didn't say it back. But the spark in her eyes was enough for me – at least for now. One day she'd say the words again. And I will wait for that.

The months that followed were pure bliss. We decided to expand Katsubō nihonjin – our restaurant, and put up another branch which Jenny manages now. All my contracts in the Philippines have already expired and surprisingly I didn't feel any need to renew them. I was offered another movie but I begged off, I didn't want to miss any moment in Jamie and Reese's life. In fact, we try to capture as much pictures and videos as we can. There's one memory that we failed to capture though, Jamie started making little bubbles and I was caught off guard, totally in awe of its beauty. Nadine took my picture instead of Jamie's. When Jenny saw it, she laughed so hard. The picture was ridiculous; I look stupid with my jaw hanging open, my sparkling eyes almost off their sockets. I don't think I'll ever live it down. They make it a point to show that picture to whoever would come to visit.

Our friends have been by twice over the last few months. Yassi and Sam arranged the squad's schedules for the trip. My Dad couldn't make multiple trips anymore so it was Lauren and Tom who'd always fill in for him. Mommy My waited for her oncologist's go signal before scheduling her every other month trips. She's in the clear but we wanted to make sure just in case. My mom met Jamie already; she dropped by on her way to Amsterdam last month.

Everything's right in my world that I can't help but feel wary sometimes; dreading for the pin to drop. What lacked in my relationship with Nadine way back when, we have established this time. We're both huge on communication and trust now. We still argue a lot but we make sure to resolve our misunderstandings – no matter how petty – before each day ends. We tell each other everything and we make it a point to talk about even the most mundane stuff. Well, everything except for one: Paulo. He remains the biggest elephant in the room. Nadine has yet to respond to my I love you's but I haven't stopped telling her and showing her how much she's loved. And I don't

wanna force it over her. I told her I'd patiently wait and I meant it. But that doesn't mean doubts don't cloud my mind every now and then.

I don't want to be selfish with her. I know Paulo's probably the best thing that's ever happened to her next to Reese and Jamie. Hell, our kids were unexpectedly dropped down on her lap. But Paulo – Paulo was a different matter altogether. She chose him. And I've seen how happy he's made her. But she's also the greatest thing that has ever happened in my life. Reese and Jamie just happened to be the cherries on top.

More months passed and without noticing, we're close to spending our first Christmas with Jamie. We were supposed to come home to the Philippines but Nadine requested that we celebrate it with Andrew and his family in San Diego instead. Said she wanted to play dress-up and for all four of us to wear Santa costume for the holidays – which obviously wouldn't work if we're in the Philippines. At the back of my head though, I know she still wasn't ready with the possibility of seeing Paulo. Anyway, her plan turned out to be an epic fail because Reese threw a tantrum until we conceded to him wearing a snowman costume instead. And Jamie was cranky the entire night of the 24th that she slept through Christmas day. We ended up staying in, with my brother and his wife and kids dropping by during dinnertime carrying takeouts.

It was Reese who finally dropped the shoe. On his 4th birthday, surrounded by all our friends and family who made the effort to fly to Sydney, he made a silent wish before blowing his cake.

What did you wish for? Sam asked him.

Secret. Merry in our son's eyes.

Yeah, but maybe I can make it come true and if you don't tell then... Sam shrugged. What a sure way to get Reese to speak up.

Promise?

Hmmm.... Sure thing, kiddo. But if I can't do it, then Daddy sure can. Right, man?

I laughed while shaking my head in amusement. Reese looked at me expectantly.

Pinky swear, bud. A promise I wished I could take back when he finally spilled the beans.

Kuya Aki and Papau. He responded quietly. I thought I heard it wrong, but Jack asked again.

What was that Reese?

I want kuya Aki and Papau. Silence filled the room.

My eyes landing on Nadine's.