Book Two - It Should Have Been Us

Chapter Nineteen

{Paulo’s POV}

Two weeks more than I should. One year and two weeks to be exact. I
have bargained too much. Len is right. The circumstances wouldn’t
change. I was bound to get hurt. But the one year and two weeks has
been the best one year and two weeks of my life. I looked at Nadine’s
face as she looked at our pictures; I found the time to print some of
them yesterday. We celebrated our first anniversary in my resort in
Batangas two weeks ago. While Nadine seemed excited on how the
pictures turned up, her face cannot hide the weary and the tiredness.
Our situation has been more complicated since Nath and James broke up.

Even with the serye ending, she still has her hands full with Reese’s
school, the RA Foundation, checking up on her mom, and trying to keep
James in line. Nath leaving for the Caribbean has raised suspicions
and so they can’t just separate at this time.

“How long will you pull the wool over your eyes?” Nath’s question rang
inside my head. There’s an internal struggle not to laugh bitterly at
that. I sound like I keep making excuses for Nadine. Maybe I am. A
part of me just won’t let her make a tough decision of having to
choose so now I am making the choice for her. I try to memorize every curve, every line on her face. It won’t be easy. It will hurt not just
me. She will get hurt too. I know that for certain. But it will be temporary. It’s the necessary kind of pain. This was an affair. I knew it from the very start. I kept trying to delay this. Using all the excuses I can come up with. But the longer I put it off, the harder it will be. For the both of us.
It was the little things – barely noticeable really.

But for me, it was hard to miss. The way her always calm demeanor seemed to have perked up a bit. She’s been very creative and hardworking during her editing stint in the serye, it has always been her forte after all. But the past few weeks, the sparkle in her eyes whenever she talks about the foundation and Reese in play school has never been brighter.

And the way she’s been with James; she tries to hide it but I see how
her eyes follow him when he’s in the same room. I know she’s worried
about him but there’s something else.

Ever since their talk, the way
they moved around each other has changed significantly. People don’t
probably see it, hell I bet even James and Nadine don’t notice; but
when he moves, she moves with him. Small gestures that don’t mean
anything to anyone really – like how she’d naturally face a certain
side or her facial expression would somehow mimic his, and how they
sometimes end up finishing each other’s sentences; instances even when they communicate with their eyes.

Sometimes, it gets too much and I would feel a little voyeuristic to
watch their exchange. I have held on longer than I thought possible.
I told Len I can’t let her go but it was seeing glimpses of her timid
yet genuine smiles with him that finally did me in. I can’t continue
being selfish with her. I can’t keep holding her back when there lays
a chance for her to be her happiest self. A part of me wants to have
her to myself; some part that no matter how small couldn’t seem to
shake off the hope that it could work with us. But someone has to
bring down the hammer. And if she won’t then I ought to do it. If only
to see her happy again – genuinely utterly filled with joy.

Hey…

Hmmm? She looked at me.

You know I love you right?

Ang drama. She chuckled.

And I think I always will.

Pau-