Dear Diary,
It's God versus my boyfriend and God's losing....
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With a mouth full of pills, I try to turn on the tap to swallow them. I make a noise of annoyance when no water comes out. "Give me a break."
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I race through the halls and fling myself into the boys bathroom. Lance is standing there, a mouth full of pills. I grab him and hit him in the back of the head. His mouth opens in surprise and the pills fall out. He falls to the ground and glares up at me. I kneel beside him.
"What are you trying to do? Kill me?" I glare at him.
"What were you trying to do? Sleep?" He tosses his head.
"Suicide is a private thing." I lunge toward him and he recoils with a wail. I sigh.
"You're giving your life away to become a goddamn statistic in US Fucking A Today. That's got to be the least private thing I can think of." He sniffles.
"But what about Shiro and Rax and Rolo and Allura and Shay?" I pause.
"If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you." He shrugs and lets out a laugh that sounds more like a sob.
"Probably." I place a hand on his shoulder and smile softly.
"Hey now, if you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host." He grins.
"Let's knock off early. Buy shoes. Something lame like that."
"Sure." He leans over and hugs me.
-----
"You are a genius. You had me worried with your little confession there, but you pulled it off. Best place to hide; right in plain sight." I shake my head.
"No, I wasn't trying to hide." He shrugs.
"Why'd you have to meddle with McClain? One more dead kid is a good thing." I glare at him.
"He's my friend!" He glares back.
"If he's such a good friend, then why are we letting Kogane live? The dude that made McClain want to kill himself? Nothing ever changes, and honestly-" I cut him off.
"Hey, we are out of the change business." Pretty soon we're talking over each other
"So we just let Kogane run around ruining the same old lives for the same old people, because all that it does-"
"No, listen, you promised me, listen, you promised-" I take a step closer to him.
"Listen to me, listen to me. Just, don't talk over me, okay? You promised me." His shoulders relax slightly.
"I promised." I smile tiredly.
"Thank you." He leans down and kisses me.
"Gee dad, ever heard of knocking? I was playing grab-ass with my girlfriend." I jump as his father walks in and quickly step behind Lotor who smirks.
"Well you know the rules, young man. When company's over the bedroom door stays open." His father rolls his eyes.
"So the judge, god bless him, told those idiot groupies to slap shit and die. You should've seen the fireworks, I got it right here on video. I packed the upper floors with thermals, set off the whole thing with a Norwegian in the boiler room. Ka-boom. Be right back, I'm gonna want my drawstring pants for this." He leaves and Lotor waits until we can hardly hear him moving around. Then, as quick as lightning, he whips out his gun and shoots the ceiling. There's a yell from somewhere else.
"God damnit, no firearms in the house!" Lotor laughs and I take a step away, closer to the door, a cold chill taking over my body.
"...Why are you carrying a gun?" He laughs again and shrugs.
"It pissed off my dad, it was funny." I shake my head and take another step.
"It's not funny, none of this is funny! You're carrying a loaded weapon! You promised me." He snorts.
"It's a dangerous world." I glare.
"Yeah, because of you." I take another step and narrow my eyes. "You know what? Don't call me. Don't talk to me." He takes a half-step forwards. I take another back.
"Katie-" I shake my head.
"No, you don't understand the difference between right and wrong, we're over." I take another step, almost to the door. He takes a step toward me.
"Come on, come back!" There's a pleading tone in his voice.
"No, we're over!" He waves his arms wildly as he speaks.
"I love you-" I go completely and utterly still. Lotor looks at my face and pales as he realises that he's pointing it right at me. He drops it like it burned him. He slowly holds out his other hand. I look at it, look at him, and set my shoulders.
"Goodbye, Lotor."
