Not Me//Jorbyn

Chapter 18

We left the space needle and went back to the auditorium where we proceeded to have before-show limelight. I was talking to a girl named Cj.

"I'm sooooo excited for the show!" She said.

"Mmmmmh..." I was half listening half not.

"Are you ok Jonah?"

"What? Huh? Oh yah I'm fine."

"Are you sure? I mean, I know you must be tired from all the traveling plus problems we don't even know about."

"Yah. I'm just tired." I Said and looked over at Corbyn.

He looked up and glared at me.

I looked away, hurt.

"Jonah? Are you- are you crying?"

I looked away quickly and wiped my eyes.

"Why are you crying?" She asked, concerned.

"I gotta go." I left quickly pushing through the crowd excusing myself when people asked to talk to me.

"Jonah, where are you going?" I heard Zach say.

I ignored him though and went backstage.

I cursed at myself and hid behind some boxes wiping my face as tears fell down my cheeks.

What have I done. I lost the only person left in my life that I actually really freaking care about. And over some stupid hot jerk! I'm such an idiot. For once in my life I was actually finally happy and now that's gone because I f*cked up.

I sat there for a while forcing myself to stop then got up and went back, claiming I just had to go to the bathroom.

I managed to go through the whole concert, minus a voice crack, and limelight with out breaking down again. But, right after limelight, I went straight to the bus. I went in my bunk and didn't even bother to come to dinner.

"Jonah. Jonah? Jonah!" I heard Jack's voice from outside my bunk.

"What!" I muttered and pull open the curtains a little bit.

"I wanted to see if you where ok. You didn't come to dinner."

"I'm fine."

"No your not. Is this about Corbyn?"

"No! Just leave me alone!" I yelled and closed the curtain.

I waited for Jack to leave before I got off my bunk again.

I have to do something. I can't lose Corbyn.

But as I was walking toward the door it opened and Corbyn came in.

"Corbyn." I whispered.

"What? What do you want." He muttered.

"Please." I felt tears roll down my cheek. "Forgive me. That never should have happened. Jack he- we...we aren't meant to be."

"What if we where dating," he said crossing he arms. "Would you still give in to him? I know you find him attractive that's why you gave in. Am I not enough?"

"That's not- that's not it. I know I don't have a good excuse but that, all that, it wasn't meant to happen. He's not for me and I'm not for him. I never told you but after you left...he asked me to be his boyfriend. I said no. Because what happened shouldn't have I shouldn't have gave in. And the truth is- I don't wanna date Jack. I don't wanna even kiss him. I'm such a f*cking idiot and I know you'll probably never forgive me and you shouldn't...but...the only person that I would ever date is...you."

"I don't know Jonah. I like you. A lot. I love you. You know that. But that scares me. I know we aren't dating but...if we were...if I said yes right now, would you do it again? You know, what if that happened again? You gotta be able to control that."

I looked down wiping my wet cheeks. "Never. Never again."

"I trust you."

I looked up and saw him right in front of me as a tear feel down his face. But, he had a tiny smile.

He held out his hand to me. I took it. He stepped closer and kissed me. He let go of my hand and wrapped his arms around my neck  putting he tongue in my mouth and I picked him up spinning him around for a moment before I dropped him again. Corbyn pull away though and grinned.

"This is for making me cry, boyfriend." He smiled and left.

I didn't mind though. I went back to bed, my tears replaced by a smile.