Anywhere With You • {J.C.}

||Sixteen|Silence||

"Pretend to be nice so I can be mean."
-Hard To Explain

Silence.

That's all there was in the confines of Harlow's car as she drove through town to take Julian home. He was acting strange; she hoped he was just embarrassed Frankie had walked in on them about to do what they do best—each other. But tossing his cigarette out the window, Harlow became concerned when seeing Julian take another out of the pack to smoke again.

The sound of his lighter striking caused her gut to tense—something was wrong. Smoke billowed around his face, blowing towards the crack of the window. Her eyes shifted to him apprehensively, then back to the road.

"You okay?" Harlow asked, giving him the opportunity to tell the truth.

"Yeah."

Liar.

"Still embarrassed about my mom walking in on us?" Harlow teased, trying get Julian to smile—he didn't. She sighed. "She just worries, you know. I never told her about us because then she'd have another thing to stress about-"

"There is no us, so there wasn't really anything to tell." Julian spoke into the filter of his cigarette before taking a long draw. Before Harlow could respond, Julian was talking again. "We're just friends that fool around, right? I'm just some guy that's using you- breaking your back for a chance... probably gonna steal your friends, too."

Her chest tightened; her heart felt as though it had plummeting into the depths of her stomach—Julian had heard everything.

"I just told her that so she'd back off a little."

"If I wanted my mom to back off, I would've told her you were my girlfriend. I never would've told her that we were just friends that fooled around, that just doesn't make sense."

"I was with Alex for two years, okay. Two years. If she thought you were my boyfriend... I never would've heard the end of it."

"But your mom calling you a whore was better?"

Harlow was becoming irritated; she was confused as to why Julian was upset about it.

"Why are you so upset about it? Why does it matter so much, anyway?" Harlow snapped.

"It doesn't."

"You're acting like it does."

"I don't think we should do this anymore. I think we should just be friends. We'll still hangout and go to bars and parties, but... I think we should stop sleeping together."

It felt like the wind had been knocked out of her. It was difficult to imagine Julian as just a friend—no more fooling around. She couldn't picture things going back to the way it had been before, whenever she was still with Alex.

"We've only been doing this for about a week, and look what's happened. This wasn't part of the deal. You don't wanna be with me, that's fine... really. I just wish you woulda told me first instead of me having to hear you tell it to your mom."

Harlow couldn't help it—Julian's words caused her foot to tap the brake a little too hard. "I told you, Jules! I just told her that so she'd back off! I wanna be with you! I want you to be my-"

"Well, I don't want you bein' my girl. I got way too ahead of myself. I think you did, too. You just got out of a relationship with Alex, it's not... what am I tryin' to say?..." Julian mumbled. "It's not wise to jump into another one. I'm not ready yet... I was obviously just thinkin' with my dick, so..." Julian trailed, taking another draw of his cigarette before flicking his ashes out the window. "Have you even told Alex you're done with him? Or is he under the impression you guys are still together?"

Silence.

"That's what I thought." Julian blew smoke through his nose, tossing his cigarette out the window.

"It's not like that. I just... I don't like confrontation. And Alex is... well, he's known to get grabby, if you know what I mean."

"Grabby..." Julian repeated, looking to Harlow with narrowed eyes. "The fuck's that supposed to mean?"

She didn't want to talk about it, but it was the only way Julian was going to understand—she'd already said too much.

"It's only happened a few times, but... Alex is temperamental. He's snapped a few times."

"You mean he's hit you?"

"Not exactly. He just- he yells and he's grabbed me- he's grabby." Harlow was exaggerating her limbs, annoyed she had to elaborate the details.

"If he hits you, I swear to God-"

"He doesn't! I just don't like confrontation and Alex is gonna wanna... you know... confront me."

"Fucking let him. I dare him- let him lay a hand on you and watch what happens." Julian spat—his voice raspy, his words low. She'd never heard Julian sound so serious. Julian wasn't a fighter—he wasn't one to provoke a fight, but that didn't mean he backed down; Julian retaliated. But judging by what he had just said, Julian was ready to fight.

Harlow laughed nervously. "What are you gonna do, huh?"

"I mean it, Lo... if he lays a hand on you, I swear to God... he's gonna wish he hadn't. He may be able to whoop my ass but, Fab and Nick are always lookin' for a fight- they'll be happy to tag along."

"You're overreacting, he's not gonna hit me."

After another five minutes, Harlow was pulling into Julian's driveway. She put the car in park, popping the joints in her fingers awkwardly as she waited for him to acknowledge that they were there.

"I'll see you around, I guess." Julian spoke monotoned, pulling the handle of the passenger door to step out.

"I'll come by Friday, if that's alright."

"My parents are supposed to be back Thursday. Friday, me and Nikolai are goin' to a show, so... maybe Sunday?"

It was already happening—Julian was making plans around her. She was saddened by this; after spending nearly everyday together, Julian was suddenly changing their whole dynamic—not just sex, but also their friendship.

"If we get back in time, I'll see if I can pick you up Saturday, if Nik's cool with it. I mean, if you wanna hang out."

"No. It's okay. I guess I'll see you Sunday." Harlow knew what was going on—Julian was excluding her, but trying to be nice about it.

"We've had this planned for weeks now. Jane's Addiction is comin' to Hammerstein's Ballroom- it's one of our favorite bands. I'd ask you to come, but-"

"It's fine, Jules... really."

"I mean, there's always scalpers hangin' around-"

Harlow forced a laugh to lighten the heaviness in her chest. He was already talking to her differently. "Thanks, but... it's okay. Go, enjoy the show."

"I'm sorry this didn't work out. I really didn't mean for this to happen, you know that. We jus- we gotta stop doin' this. Somebody's gonna get hurt." Julian kept his eyes on Harlow, waiting for her to protest. He wanted her to contradict him; to give him a reason to change his mind. Instead, she kept her eyes ahead at the large house ahead, waiting for Julian to leave. He clicked his tongue. "Guess I'll see you around."

Julian climbed out of the car, slamming the door shut before making his way toward the house. Harlow was already hurt—she couldn't believe Julian didn't see that.