Anywhere With You • {J.C.}

||Forty-Four|Goodbye||

Nearly six beers down and Harlow found herself sitting in the floor with Julian. They did exactly what Julian said they would do—go through his record collection. They reminisced on old times they shared as kids, but never brought up what ultimately tore them apart.

At least, not yet.

There was too much to catch up on—too much time had passed that two hours couldn't make up for. Harlow wondered what she had been so worried about, why she had been in such a rush to leave.

"It's like... no matter how long we're apart... we pick up right where we leave off. I mean, yeah, you're weird at first, but-"

Harlow's laugh interrupted his thought, causing Julian to return the same laugh. "No I'm not."

"Whatever you say, babe." Julian grinned, bringing his knees to his chest. What he had said struck a nerve—Julian had said it so gracefully, the sound of that word had practically rolled off his tongue.

She shook her head; the corner of her lips turned into a sly grin before bringing the bottle to her lips to take a drink. She watched as Julian browsed through the case of vinyls—something he did as a teenager in the record store that Harlow went along with just to spend time with him.

"Fab told me you're single now. What's that been like?" Harlow asked, trying to smoothly transition the news that she now had a significant other. She had yet to bring it up.

His dark eyes peered up from the record in his hands. "What do you think?" He smirked, the smile never reaching his eyes. "Alcohol helps. It fills the void." He shrugged, placing the record back in the crate. She watched his fingers move along the top of the vinyls, seemingly searching for another he wanted to listen to.

"I'm sorry. You guys were off and on for... how long was it?"

"Eight years. It's alright... it's all good. It was tough at first, but it's good now." Julian spoke as if he were trying to convince himself. "You wanna know somethin' crazy that I'm just drunk enough to admit?" He grinned—this time, it reached his eyes.

"What?" She giggled, realizing that her simple buzz may have just turned into a full-on drunk.

"Remember our," Julian cleared his throat for dramatic effect. "Maybe-baby?" He rubbed his nose nervously, scratching the nape of his neck a little too harshly.

"Maybe-baby?" She laughed at the sound of the phrase she had never heard before, but knew exactly what he had meant. "Well, yeah. It was the first time in my life I ever thought I was pregnant."

"I think about it sometimes and... our kid would be, like... four now. You realize that?"

Harlow's smile quickly faded. She was borderline drunk, but wasn't intoxicated enough to discuss that. The truth was, Harlow thought about it occasionally as well, but she would never admit it. Sometimes when children would come into the bar and grill on Tuesday's—when kids ate free—she would see a little boy or girl with dark hair and question if they would be the same age as her "maybe-baby" would have been. She would force herself to stop trying to add up the timeline and find something else to occupy her thoughts.

"You ever want kids?" Harlow asked, stretching out her legs and crossing her ankles. She was beginning to feel the weight of the conversation; the effortlessness had deteriorated suddenly.

"I don't know... probably not. I don't think I'd ever trust anyone enough to have my kids, you know. I'd be too scared she'd change her mind and then my kids would have to go through what I went through. I don't want that."