Big Bangs, Prohibition, and a Sugar Daddy

Getting Drunk and the Morning After

Was this my third glass? My fourth? "If you are thinking to get me drunk so you can do some unfair and wrong things to me---think again. I won't let that happen." Was my speech slurred. I think it was.

"No. My little animal, you will come to my bed willingly. I won't have to take advantage of you. I don't want to sleep with someone who is too drunk to realize what is happening. I want you fully aware." Luke gave me that stare. The one that makes me think of a lion about to run down his prey.

I took a long swallow of the wine. When Luke talked like that he made me tremble. Out of fear? Or is it anticipation? He had that effect on me. By making me react like I was actually being chased by a lion.

My heart seemed to pound so loudly in my chest I'm sure Luke could hear it. My breath quickened. My mind seemed to fog up. I wanted to run away again. To scream at Luke to stop making me feel this way. To pound on his chest, to kick him, claw out his eyes. Only that wasn't what I really wanted. What I really wanted was to be touched, kissed, held. And I feared that need, because I was taught that it was wrong for me to want it from a man. I had been a boy, I still had that remnant as part of me. Both inside and outside I still had that part.

"If I do this, it will kill a part of me." I said to Luke.

"If you do this, you may learn that in order to live, you have to let that part die. It's not fair. Maybe it's not right. But, it is necessary to survive." Luke's voice was gentle. Sympathetic. Or seemed to be.

I looked over at Luke. "Did you have to make that sacrifice?"

"Yes." That was all Luke said.

I fell out of my chair. After such a serious moment it seemed absurd. I began to laugh. I couldn't stop. Luke came over to help me up as I attempted to stand I stumbled. Nearly falling again. Only Luke helped me to regain my feet. I began laughing again.

Luke was laughing now. He swept me off my feet. Easily lifting me in his arms. In my intoxicated state I was impressed with how strong Luke was.

Luke is over six feet tall. I am only five foot five. I don't know why I would be impressed that he could easily lift me, considering the size difference. I just found it attractive.

Luke carried me from the Dining Room and up the stairs. "So, you decided to ravish me after all." I giggled a little.

Luke smiled at me. Half way up the stairs I rested my head against his shoulder. By the time Luke reached the top of the stairs I must have been asleep. True to his word, Luke didn't ravish me. I woke up in my bed in that intolerably pink room that was given to me when I moved in.

Someone had removed my clothes and set them to the side. I had slept in my chemise. I imagined it had been Luke who undressed me. I pulled away the bed covers. My head hurt slightly. How many glasses of wine had I had last night? Four or five? I couldn't remember.

As I began to dress there was a tap on the door. I finished buttoning my blouse and answered it. Outside was Clara in her gray maid uniform. She smiled at me. I could tell though that she was nervous.

"I thought I'd check to see how you were feeling." Clara said in her Southern accent. "I was cleaning up in the next room when I heard you moving around."

"I'm fine." It was sweet of Clara to check on me.

"Can I talk, private like, Miss Ellen." Clara was obvious balled up about something.

"Come in and close the door, Clara." She could talk to me as I finished dressing. I still had to put on my boots and waist jacket.

"Miss Ellen, when I undressed you as Mr. Luke said to do, I discovered it." Apparently 'it' was what had Clara upset.