Big Bangs, Prohibition, and a Sugar Daddy

Sin, Church, And More Sin

Saturday evening I sat looking in the mirror in my room. I had already committed this sin. Enjoyed it. Did I dare do it again? Did it matter? If this was such a sin against God, why didn't God strike me down already. Show me some displeasure concerning this sinful act.

Aside from the guilt that came from committing the sin of homosexuality, I didn't feel any more evil than I was when I was a virgin. (Well, a virgin in the philosophical sense). I had never committed the act of sodomy before. I admit to some fear of being caught. Being ostracized by society not only for being a pseudo hermaphrodite, but homosexual acts as well. Not to mention what such a scandal would do to Luke and his business.

Did gangsters care if their employees or bosses were homosexual? I didn't know. Did my association with Luke make me a gangster as well? If it did come out what Luke and I were doing together, would it really make a difference if Luke and I were socially ostracized. It wouldn't make a difference in their profits, it hadn't so far. Would gangsters really care?

I put my doubts aside. Made up. Putting a robe over my simple silk shift, which was all I wore. I crossed the bathroom. Walked into Luke's room to find him in his robe. Sitting in his chair, reading a history book. Smoking a cigar. I smell I associate with Luke now, as much as his cologne.

"Ahh, my little animal, you have come for our nightly pleasure." Luke teased. I was tempted to turn around and go back to my room.

Instead of leaving, I let the robe slip from my shoulders. I said nothing. Luke came over to me. Kissed me. Petted me. Picked me up and carried me to his bed. Sex was better than the night before. Because I knew what to do this time around, had some idea what pleasured Luke, and myself. Again, it was as intense of a release for both of us as it was last night.

How could such a pleasurable act be a sin? For some people any act of pleasure is one of sin. I realized that as I was making love to Luke. How could pleasure be a sin? How could God provide so many pleasures then say to man, thou shalt not have pleasure. I would feel no more guilt. I would not cater to someone's delusions that God wanted to deny mankind pleasure.

That morning I woke up in Luke's bed again. Those familiar scents that I smelled yesterday lingered in the bed, refreshed by our recent activities. Luke was already awake, dressing in one of his suits. A dark brown, with a waistcoat. He wore a white cotton shirt. The wool suit was more suitable for the chillier weather of October.

"I've thought about what you said concerning the boats and flying circuses. I plan to present the ideas to my colleagues." Luke began to knot his long tie. "I'm not saying who presented me with the idea, because it will be better if I suggest it, then a woman outside out organization. Especially if that woman is my household manager."

"And your lover." I added.

"They don't know that, yet." Luke put on his coat. "I'd like to keep that from them as long as possible."

Luke left the room after he dressed. As he ate his breakfast, I returned to my room. Dressed. Descended down the stairs to eat my own breakfast. As he left. I gave him a parting kiss on the cheek. Before a realized that Clara could see me. I'd have to be more careful.

Clara has been giving me sly looks that morning. I'm sure she suspects that Luke and I are having an affair. There isn't much we can do about such speculation among the staff. As long as they are discreet about it, showing both Luke and I the respect we expect from our staff, it doesn't matter that they know we are sleeping together.

There was little in the paper about the Wall Street Bombing today. That might be due to the fact that authorities had no new leads concerning the bombing. Of course Attorney General Palmer claimed that it was anarchists. No one much trusted Palmer since his illegal raids around the New Year.

"I'd like to go to church today." I wanted to go to church with my Mother and Sister.

"Church is unnecessary. If you believe in god, then you don't need to go to a man made building to worship him." Luke was reading the paper. He did not even put the paper down and look at me.

"Mother, Carol, and I always go to church on Sunday. I'd like to go with them, if that is possible." I bit my lip. If Luke said no, there wasn't much I could go about it.

"You don't want me to go to church?" Luke put down his paper.

"Do you want to?" I didn't think he would appreciate it. Of course I would not discourage him.

"Hell, no." Luke said. "I'll drive you to your Mother's. I'll even drive your family to your church of choice, but I won't go inside."

"Do you hate God so much? The people who worship Him? Or just the thought of stepping into a church again?" I was curious about why Luke refused to go into a church.

"I don't hate or love god. He simply doesn't exist. Nor do I hate god's worshipers. If they find some false illusion of contentment in their worship, that is their problem. As for stepping inside of a church, it's nothing but a waste of time. There is no god, so there is no need to worship him, and there is nothing to be accomplished by going to church."

I met my Mother outside the apartment building where she lived with Carol. Mother expressed her admiration for the Rolls Royce. The silver color, open roof, and sheer size impressed her. Luke assisted us into the back seat while he drove us to the church. We had several parishioners stare at us as Luke assisted us from the Silver Ghost.

Luke took his leave, driving away as Carol, Mother, and I walked into the Lewis Presbyterian Church. We are a Modernist congregation. Which makes us a small church, since the Fundamentalist movement has started to condemn Modernist reverends within the Presbyterian Church.

All the same, I felt uncomfortable sitting in the church, knowing that tonight I might be committing sins with Luke that even Modernists wouldn't approve of. That I sat between my Sister and Mother made me even more self conscious about what I was doing with Luke.

After church, Luke took us for a drive along the coast, heading upstate for several miles. Going outside of New York City itself and it's many boroughs until we came to the natural hills upstate. After four hours of driving, Luke took Mother and Carol home.

I sat in the front seat and cuddled against Luke as he drove back to the mansion. It was growing colder. "Thank you."

"For what?" Luke put an arm around my shoulder as he drove.

"For the drive, taking us to church in your beautiful car. Simply for being kind to Mother, Carol, and me." It had been a long day, with Carol chattering away, and Mother occasionally getting a word in edgewise. I had simply sat mostly quiet, letting my family talk while I listened and looked at the beautiful countryside.

That night I had no hesitation going into Luke's room. Nor did I feel any shame in climbing into his bed. No matter what else Luke might be, he was kind to me, kind to my family. Good to his staff. Loyal to those who loved him. So why should I be ashamed of sleeping with Luke.