The Dark Truth

Death or Life?: Cahapter 21

WARNING: mentions of suicide and abuse.

le flashback

i walk into my house to see my mom drunk and on the couch passed out. "mom im home. oh sweetie how was your day? oh it was terrible." i whisper out a conversation to myself and start heading up to my room. our house was halfway decent considering my dad working at a bank, but of course it was pretty shitty because my dads working 24/7 or my moms too drunk to fix anything. i walk into my bedroom with no door and collapse on my bed in exhaust. why is the door gone? oh my dad kicked it down so he could beat me for 'touching his things.' as if. I'm so exhausted today but i know ill have to fix dinner soon if i want to eat and keep dad happy. i take off my leather jacket and head downstairs. i look through everything in the kitchen for something to cook. "mac and cheese, chicken and breadcrumbs. okay then." i start cooking and almost as soon as I'm done i hear the front door open. i run to the Livingroom to greet my father, he insist on it. my mom is now up and somewhat sober. "did you have a good day sweetheart?" my mom softly speak as she takes dads things to put them away. "awful. is dinner done?" father looks over at me waiting for an answer and i quickly and quietly whisper out a yes sir. i keep my head down as not to upset him. i hear fathers footsteps as he walks closer to me. he takes my chin with his hand and makes me look up at him. "good girl. " he kisses my head and i cringe inwardly. we all walk to the kitchen as i make everyone's plates. this is how it always is. mom drunk but acting like a proper wife, father domineering over all of us, and me, being a humble servant. despite only being thirteen im use to surviving. that's what im doing, surviving. not living. living is when im with cat and ivy and.. and j. as i think about my friends i accidently burn myself on the stove. i whimper a bit but know not to make a big scene of it. i walk over to the sink and run cold water on it then takes the plates to the table. we sit and eat in silence. everyday was pretty much on repeat in this house. i get so tired of the same routine but theirs nothing i could do to fix it. or.... is their? as we finish dinner and i barely eat anything were all excused from the table and i walk up to my room. i go to the connected bathroom and close the door behind me. i take one of drawers out of the sink and reach into the back and pulls a shiny piece of metal out. a razor. i sit on the side of the tub as i turn the razor over and over in my hands. it seems like im in the bathroom for hours before i decide to turn on the water for a bath. i hear a knock on the bathroom door and i hide the razor and open the door to find my mom. "hey sweetie. your dad had to go out for some work he left at the office. i cleaned up the kitchen for you this time." i stare at my mom in disbelief. why is she acting so civil. "thanks mom but dads gone, you can stop acting. " i go to close the door but she stops it with her foot. "look i know im not the best mother, im not getting any awards, but i love you. your secret phone has been going off as well. don't worry i wont tell father." my mom walks out and i watch her in shock. i walk over to my phone i got with some of the money me, cat, and ivy steal to find j had texted me. i ignore it and throw my phone to the side. i cant let anyone stop me this time. i walk back towards the bathroom when i hear my window open. "ignoring my text now? and i know horrible etiquette coming through the window." i instantly recognized the voice as jacks and i close the bathroom door as fast as i can behind me. "what makes you think that?" i fiddle with my hands and look down as i wait for his answer. "well for one i saw you throw your phone down and two i texted i was coming over." i shake my head in disbelief and point back at the window. "if your gonna stalk me you can leave right fucking now." i see j's eyes shift the the bathroom door and then he runs towards it. i try to block off the door but j has always been a bit stronger. he pushes his way through the door and i fall next to the tub which is on the brink of overflowing. i see j look around and start tearing stuff apart looking for the one thing i didn't want him to find. i see the shiny piece of metal that would decide my fate in the hands of the man that could ruin that choice. its sad i saw it that way, but i don't care, im tired of living like this. "lizzy, why..." i see sadness in jacks eyes and i instantly regret even thinking of taking my life. i cry, harder than i have ever cried before and i instantly feel the warm arms of the man who just saved my life wrap around me. i keep repeating how sorry i am but deep down, i know if he didn't come i would have gone through with it. jack lifts my face up so im looking at him and i see hes crying as well. "don't be sorry, just please don't ever do this again, i don't know what id do without you." that night i stayed in his arms until i couldn't anymore. that was the last night i thought about taking my life. my only question that night was, how did j know what i was doing?