good ol' Klance Smut.

reverse card keith.

So lance was super happy when Keith came back. He was even more happy when he saw that Keith was more taller, tastier, cooler, and basically hotter. He thought that Keith was finally top material. So when he went to greet him he had to act normal.

"How do we know that you're the real Keith and not his" 'don't fuck me over gay thoughts' "cooler and grizzled brother." 'You just had to fucking include the grizzled part... at least you didn't say the t a s t i e r p a r t.'  "I don't have T I M E for this L A N C E!" Lance was a bit hurt but decided to reverse card on his ass... not really....

Not at all.

"H e Y. e V e R y O n E. k E i T h ' S. b A c K"

Time skip because I'm fucking lazy.
Don't you dare reverse card my ass-

So the mullet and Bi disaster went to go chill out since they were just chilling on the planet they landed on because Pidge was trying to contact Matt. in all honestly she thought she left him on the castle and was about to have a heart attack if she did-

and now...

A lazy attempt at conversation having in a fanfic: gO

Mullet: So lance... how has it been?
Bi disaster: nothing much has happened- wait... Allura kisses Lotor before you arrived.
Mullet: holy duck-
Bi disaster: quack quack bitch
Mullet: what? I wanted to say duck- F U C K but it changed to duck?
Bi disaster: how the duck did that happen? This is a verbal conversation.
M u l l e t: I DONT KNOW?
Bi disaster and a mullet 2.0: you forgot the ' there.
Mu ll et: how the duck did you know- AGAIN WITH THE DUCK
Bi disaster, aka me: I just do.
M ü ll ë t: anyways, sorry about yelling at you earlier...
Bi disaster: I thought we bonded man-
M U L L E T: YOU REMEMBERED??????!!?!?!?1!1!11!1!!!!1!1!!!!!!!!1!!!!!!!1!1!!!!!!!!!?!??!?!1??1?1?1?1?3?2?3!4!
B ï d ï ś â ś ś t ë r: what's with the numbers-
Mullet: WHO CARES ABOUT THE NUMBERS. YOU DUCKING REMEMBER- F U C K I N G REMEMBERED?
Bi disaster: no.
Mullet: yes you did.
Bi disaster: r e v e r s e c a r d b i t c h
Mullet: what-
Bi disaster: exactly.

They didn't talk more after that.

Cue earth episode. But like. After promised klance moment hopefully #100.

So after Keith said that lance was a wonderful person and is a (ignore(using an emoji because I'm emotionally unstable still) ⬇️)
bEAUTIFUL BOI WHO DESERVES THE WORLD BECAUSE HE HAS THE POTENTIAL OF BEING THHE VERY BEST THAT NO ONE EVER WAS AND IS NOT  i repeat. NOT IN KEITHS SHADOW. HE IS SPECIAL AND NO ONE SEES HOW MUCH OF A SPECIAL PERSON HE IS AND IT WILL ANGER THE FUCK OUT OF ME IF HE IS A SECOND OPTION FOR ALLURA JUST BECAUSE HE LIKES HER ALOT. HE IS ABLE TO USE T H R E E FUCKING FORMS OF HIS BAYARD. YET YALL WANT TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT HOW HOT (which he is don't get me wrong. I'm a bi disaster as well) KEITH IS AND HOW FUCKING OLD AND STRESSED SHIRO IS INSTEAD OF BEING WORIED FOR LANCE SINCE HE IS NOT FUCKING OKAY AND FOR PIDGE SINCE SHE WAS LITERALLY PRESSURED BY EVERYONE SINCE THEY WERE ABOUT TO FCKING DIE. DONT GET ME FUCKING STARTED ON HUNK-
(ignore^)

Anyways, after that they admit being space gays not only for each other but for the same gender. Which doesn't matter much in this context.

Keith was about to let lance do it (Nike. Just do it) but lance was having none of it and said "r e v e r s e c a r d." And then Keith was on top of lance and they did the dirty.

After the fun times had stoped. Pidge recorded the whole thing because she just did some how. Then she payed hunk like 5 dollars or something like that and then Shiro was like "gay." Allura was like "gay~" and Coran was like "... gAY-" and so they told lances Mom and she said "were we supposed to think you only like girls?" *cue hugs.*

A year later they got married. After their vows, Keith asked lance to get cake for them. Lance said

"R e V e R s E c A r D"

"I'm getting a ducking divorce."

"Quack quack bitch-"
"sHUT UP LANCE."

Authors note:
This is a disaster and an infinity. Also I want to make an actual story about "Keith wtf you're not gay?" Since I want it to be way longer than I wanted to before so I am. It'll hopefully be up soon but until then, deal with my bullshit of a one shot klance "smut" book.

K bye~