Hate is a strong word

Chapter 26

Shawn's P. O. V.

I was standing at the airport in New York, pacing back and forth while I waited for my Uber. I was a nervous wreck, and all this waiting was making it worse.

Ever since Rebecca had left, I could not sleep without thinking about her. She thinks that I cheated on her when in reality it was just for a photoshoot. She would understand since she was a photographer...right? There was only one way to find out, and that was to fly to New York and talk to her.

Once my Uber arrived, I put my bags in the trunk and told them Rebecca's address. I looked out the window at the familiar buildings and streets. Time seemed to move incredibly slow, seconds dragging into minutes. Eventually, we made it to her apartment. 

I took out my bags and the flowers I had bought for her and stood on her doorstep. The lights were on, which meant she was still up, which was a good sign. I stared at her doorbell until I gathered the courage to ring it. 

No, she'll think I don't want this. I decided to barge in.

Would that seem like I am too demanding? Only one way to find out.

I opened the door, with a huge smile on my face. Until I saw a heartbreaking sight in front of me.

Rebecca, kissing another boy, on her couch. 

My smile faded.

"Rebecca?"

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Rebecca's P. O. V.

Why did Shawn always have to ruin everything? I mean, I'm kinda thankful, he saved me from an extremely awkward night with James. But he saved me from an awkward night with another awkward situation.

"Shawn? What are you doing here?" I asked. I was not in a comfortable situation, so any dialogue counts. 

"Isn't that the guy who cheated on you?" James asked, nudging me with his elbow.  

"I did not cheat on her. I came here to explain, but it looks like we both have some explaining to do."

I massaged my head with my hands and analyzed the situation. It was either tell Shawn to go home, re-opening my old wounds and an awkward conversation with James, or tell James to go home and talk to Shawn. 

"James, do you mind going home? I'll talk to you tomorrow, ok?" I looked at him with pleading eyes. You could tell he didn't like this, but he nodded his head. He grabbed his phone and glared at Shawn as he walked to the door and left.

I sighed and laid back onto the couch. "Come sit down. This is going to talk a while." I patted the seat next to me and Shawn sat, leaving us in an awkward silence.

"I came here to explain. Why don't I explain what happened in L.A. first, and then you explain what happened here?" He looked at his hands, trying to start the conversation.

"Ok, go ahead."

"When I moved to L.A., photographers wanted me to become sort of a model for their magazines and such. With that extra income, who would say no to that? I didn't realize what they would be making me do. It started off as a few normal shots down at the beach, until they wanted more, 'better'."

 "They forced me to kiss some random girl in my apartment, then you showed up. That made an already uncomfortable situation worse, and I didn't know how to explain what was going on. Apparently, you nor Jessi saw the photographers around my house, which resulted in you coming back here. I was a train wreck, and after threatening the photographers, I started planning a surprise visit to come see you. That is until I get here and see you kissing another boy."

I put my head in my hands. I felt awful. I had completely misinterpreted a situation and managed to break two hearts in the process. Shawn started to rub my back when I realized what he must be feeling right now. All he knows is that I had another boyfriend, which was not what happened.

"What you saw coming in here was not what it looked like. That was James, Jessi's brother. He and I became good friends after L.A., and he helped me get over you. I was venting to him about how stressful work has been lately when he confessed his feelings for me and kissed me. I do not feel the same, so I was about to break away when you walked in. Gosh, I feel awful."

I started to cry, letting it all out. The stress from work, and all of the confusion I was feeling. Just when I get over Shawn, he comes back. When I think that I might have feelings for James, Shawn comes back. I don't know who I love.

"Hey, Hey, it's ok." Shawn pulled me into a hug, a hug that I had been craving for weeks. I sobbed into his shoulder, soaking his shirt. I looked up to see some of my mascara on his shirt, and the huge wet mark on his shoulder. I laughed a little when I saw it. He looked down and laughed as well.

"What's next?" He asked. I laid my head on his shoulder and took a deep breath. 

To be honest, I didn't know. 

"I don't know. I thought I was over you, so I allowed myself to have feelings for James. Then when you show up again, I want you back."

"So... do you want to stay friends?"

I stared at my fingers. No, I really didn't, but what would happen? Maybe he was right. If we just started over, maybe we could try again and maybe it would work out. It would be safer than jumping back in at this point. 

"Sure. Maybe... one day we could try this again. But for now, let's just stay friends."

He looked down at me, a small smile on his face.

"Deal."

He held out his hand, and I shook it, smiling.