Hate is a strong word

Chapter 13

Jessi and I got our drinks and found a table, which I made sure was on the complete opposite side of where Shawn was sitting. It was also by a window, so we talked and looked at the people passing by.

"So, about this Shawn kid." She looked at me, expectantly, and I shrugged. 

"What else would you like to know? I hate him, but I also like him. It's not that difficult."

She huffed and looked back out the window. "You can't have to totally opposite feelings for someone. It's either one or the other."

I looked over at Shawn. He was looking at something on his phone, scrolling, and occasionally stopping to squint at the screen. I smiled to myself when suddenly a girl walks in. She sees Shawn, he sees her, they smile, and then she sits with him. Just like that,  they hit it off and I'm hit with reality. 

"Let's go." I get up from the table, grabbing my purse and Jessi's arm. I walk outside and start walking. I try to keep the tears in, but they flow out anyway. By now, I'm halfway to my apartment with mascara running down my face. 

"Becca, wait up!" I hear Jessi push past people, running to catch up with me. "Where are you going?"

"I'm so stupid!" I stopped and turned to face her. "I actually thought that he might like me. And the worst part? I'm an adult and I'm acting like a child about this whole situation." 

She grabbed my shoulders. "Is this your apartment?" She nodded to the building behind us. I turned, looked back at her, and nodded. "She steered me toward the door and held out her hand. I opened my purse, got out my key, and put it in her hand, which she uses to unlock the door. I ran in and threw myself on the couch. She sighed before going into the kitchen. She came back later with some ice cream and some spoons, handing it to me and sitting beside me on the couch. 

"What happened back there?" I wiped my eyes and looked at the floor.  

"He was there, and he was alone, until he wasn't anymore. I started to think that we could be something until some pretty girl walks in and whisks him away." 

"You don't know who she is. She could be a cousin, sister, aunt. You never know!" 

I sighed and rubbed my eyes. Another wave of tears reached the surface. I began to sob, leaning into Jessi's shoulder as she patted my head.

"I'm sorry. We just met, became best friends, and now your in my house listening to my cry out my life problems." She laughed, but sat me up to look at her. 

"Look. Yes, we just met, but we already act like we've known each other for years! Know that I will always be here for you, no matter what life throws at you." 

"Thanks." I sniffled but smiled as we sat back and watched T.V. for the rest of the night. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Shawn's P.O.V.

-earlier-

I was sitting at my favorite table, in my favorite coffee shop, when she walked in. I come here to escape the troubles of my everyday life, but I should've known that eventually, they would come here too. 

She walked in with her friend, I guess, and they got in line. All hopes of being unnoticed when her friend spotted me staring. I continued to look at my phone, hoping she wouldn't notice. After what seemed like forever, she sat down. 

I pretended to act ignorant, but I knew she was looking at me. I could see her out of my preferential vision, stealing quick glances now and then. I smiled to myself, thinking that maybe, just maybe, she likes me too. 

Then Viki shows up.

Viki is my ex-girlfriend from high school. We have long since gone out separate ways, but she always seems to find me sooner or later. She always talks to me, tries to win me back. I refuse, she gets mad, she leaves, and I'm good for another 5 months. This is the same cycle we have followed for the past 2 years. I think it's safe to say that I don't enjoy these talks.

"Shawn, is that you?" She gasps, radiating sarcasm and fake happiness. I fake a smile as well, immediately knowing that the next 30 minutes is not going to be fun. 

"Yep. How are you, Viki?" I know I don't like her, but I still have to be nice.

"Fine, thanks. You look great!"

Same as I did 5 months ago. 

"Thanks." I don't even try to return the compliment, I already know she'll think I'm flirting with her and try to take me out to dinner. She won't get a hint! You think after rejecting her for 2 years she'll give up.

"I was wondering..." She began. It took all of my self-control not to roll my eyes. 

"Would you like to grab dinner?"

No. 

"I'm good, but thanks. I have a pretty busy schedule, and I have feelings for someone else."

"Oh." She looked at her hands, fiddling with them until she decided it was time to leave.

"I guess I better get going. I came to grab a quick coffee before heading off to some meetings." She stood up, me along with her.

"Me, too. I just finished, and I have a busy day tomorrow." 

I didn't even wait for her to say goodbye, I just left.