Soar // Hamliza

• chapter 6 •

• Eliza •

I didn't stay long at the hospital, since I was going to the mall with Peggy and because Alexander was being all weird.

He just kept spacing out. I don't even know if he heard me come in the room or talking or anything. It kind of scared me and made me worry about him. But he says I worry too much about him, so I pushed the thought aside and focused on the road as I drove to the mall, Peggy in the passengers seat.

She was singing along to the radio softly, sitting with her legs crossed under her as she scrolled through her phone. It still seems kind of weird to me that we aren't going with Angelica, since the three of us always did everything together.

I spent five minutes thinking of topics I could bring up to talk to her. Why was this so difficult for me? Was I really that disconnected from Peggy? I settled on something we both knew a lot about: Alex.

"Alex was being really weird today when I visited him." I said after a few minutes of silence. She looked up from her phone and clicked it off, the small smile that had been resting on her lips slipping away.

"Is something wrong with him?" She asked, angling herself towards me. I shrugged.

"I don't know. He just spaced out the whole time and seemed upset. He didn't seem like he was listening at all and when I asked him what was up, he just said he was fine." I explained, feeling the pit of anxiety in my stomach growing.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, Liza. But are you okay? I know Angelica talked to you the other day but you just seem so anxious all the time." Peggy said softly, placing her hand on my arm. I sighed, not wanting to have to explain myself again.

"Is it really that obvious? How anxious I am, I mean?" I asked. She nodded slowly and I rubbed my forehead with the hand I didn't have on the steering wheel.

"Sorry." I mumbled. She shook her head and assured me it wasn't my fault and that she knows I didn't ask to be anxious like this. But I can't help feeling guilty about it.

We finally arrived at the mall and began to walk around, laughing and talking. The last time I'd been here was just after Thanksgiving with... with Maria.

I pushed her out of my head immediately, choosing to ignore it. I feel sick everytime I think of what I did with her and how badly I hurt Alexander.

Luckily, Peggy dragging me into a store distracted me from the thoughts of a few months ago and we returned to shopping.

Throughout the years, Peggy and I had slowly gravitated apart. But today, laughing and talking and walking around together, it felt like we'd always been close, even though that wasn't the case.

We blew a ton of money buying new clothes and little things for everyone, especially Alex. Peggy gave me some advice on things to get him and things to talk to him about, since she was with him a lot too. Almost more than I was, funnily enough. But I don't have to worry about her doing anything with him, since she came out to us as lesbian a year and a half ago.

So we bought Alexander a ton of books and writing things and miscellaneous items. His birthday was a week ago, but since he's still in recovery, he wasn't really able to see us for long and he told us not to make a big deal. But technically his birthday is passed, so we can make a big deal now.

Last but not least, we went into the dance supply store. Peggy immediately dashed off to the tap shoes while I browsed through some leotards and tried on a couple different brands of pointe shoes, since my current ones were starting to go dead. I could hear Peggy tapping a few aisles down while I balanced in a pair of Capezios. I giggled to myself a little as I hear her tapping.

Eventually I settle on a couple of new leotards and two pairs of pointe shoes, so that I won't have to go out again to buy more replacements.

Peggy was already at the checkout line with a new pair of tap shoes, tights, a leotard and a pair of jazz shoes.

"Quite the variety you've got there." I joked, standing behind her in the line. She laughed a little and nodded, placing her items on the counter so they could be scanned.

"You too. New pointe shoes, never would've guessed." She replied, pulling out a wad of cash and handing it to the woman at the register. I payed for my items as well and we left, our arms full of bags from various stores and our hearts full of joy.

"You know, we have to do the more often. You and I hardly ever hang out together. I miss this." I said as we maneuvered through traffics after leaving the mall, eating drive-thru french fries from Wendy's and dipping them in our chocolate Frostys. She nodded, eating a fry before replying.

"Definitely. We've just been really disconnected the past couple of months, maybe even the past year or so. I miss it too." She said. I leaned over and hugged her tightly, not worrying about driving since we were in standstill traffic. She hugged back and in that moment, the world seemed right again. Alex is recovering. My relationship with my sisters couldn't be better. I'm making my way back into dancing.

But it never does last, does it?

a/n: long overdue chapter. Sorry for the wait, I'm just trying to do what Eliza's doing: get through it. Also this chapter was a somewhat necessary filler since I'm still trying to get the plot all figured out for this, but that should improve soon.