Soar // Hamliza

• chapter 14 •

• Eliza •

I couldn't wait to see Alexander today. Ever since the day of our fight, I've missed him an unusual amount. I missed being able to sit and talk about everything for hours. I just needed to push through the end of the school week and I would get to see him.

My Alexander-less week was filled with homework and tests. It seems as though every teacher I have thinks that Fridays are great for tests, meaning the majority of my classes end up with back to back tests. As soon as I finish one subject, I'm on to another.

Despite not talking about the anxiety with Alex, I feel more of a sense of peace surrounding me throughout my week, something I've been aching and longing for for quite a while. Of course, there are still moments that occur often in which I find myself beginning to panic, beginning to worry, but the thought of my boy calms me. The thought of talking to him again calms me.

I haven't heard too much from him the past few days, other than a couple things here and there. I know that his treatment and recovery is extremely taxing on him, and I'm fine with the fact that he needs his rest. I'm more than happy to sacrifice a little talking time if it means he feels a little better.

He mentioned new meds and more therapy, but never really got into it. I'm planning on asking him about it once we get a moment to ourselves. I don't want to make a big deal of it in front of the others, especially because they don't know a whole lot about some of those issues that he's going through.

These thoughts travel through my mind as I drive in my little blue car to the hospital. I'm convinced that at this point, I could get there with my eyes closed. I've been here far too much in the past few months. We all have. I'm sure Alex is by far the most ready to get back home where he wants to be.

It's just so risky for him to leave the hospital right now. His immune system isn't great, and if he were to catch even a cold from someone in his apartment complex or at my house, it could be really bad for him. If it happened at the hospital, at least we know that the doctors would be able to get him help as quickly as possible.

I owe so much to Alex's doctors for all they've done these past few months. Sometimes, I leave the hospital and one of them will catch me on the way out of Alex's room and tell me about how he's doing or how great he has been, despite some of the anger problems that have been coming up recently. It makes me glad to know that a lot of the time, they get to experience my charismatic Alexander and that they still love him - obviously, not quite the way I do, but still - when he's being difficult.

I turn into the parking lot and squeeze my car into a space between Angelica and John's cars. We're still waiting on Hercules and Laf, but everyone else is in the waiting room. I join them and greet them with some small talk. We're all excited to see Alex.

Despite the dreariness of the hospital, having everyone here to visit makes the place seem a whole lot nicer. When the group's laughter or talking fills Alex's room, it just seems right. Almost as if something wasn't really wrong at all. That is, until you catch a glimpse of Alex's bald head and IV's, and realize exactly why you're in a hospital room instead of one of your friends' basement.

Everyone finally arrives in the waiting room and we get the okay from the front desk attendant that we can head on up to Alex. I feel excitement rising in me, so ready to give him a kiss on the head and have a conversation with him.

We all enter the room and he seems confused for a moment. He seemed like he was rubbing his head or something. He must've just woken up.

We gather around him, softly asking how he is. Something seems a little off, though. He almost seems to wince away from all the words, as if we're all yelling to him from across the room. He probably has a headache.