Soar // Hamliza

• chapter 22 •

• Eliza •

Leaving Alex's side every time I go home from the hospital is one of the hardest things I have to do. I feel so much guilt leaving him alone, all by himself in the place he's been stuck for months. But lately? He's seemed so good, making so much progress. It just worries me that he won't be as good the next time I visit.

Theo and I go our separate ways once we reach the parking lot, her pulling me into an unexpected hug and thanking me brightly for letting her visit Alex.

"Oh, of course! If you ever want to come by or anything and see him, just let me know. He loves being able to talk to people. It gets boring and lonely in there, you know?" I said. She nodded and we said our goodbyes before getting into our respective cars and heading off.

I thought about our lunch together as I wove through traffic, taking the crowded streets out of the city and back to the house.

Theo had tried her best to fill me in on everyone at the studio. A lot of the girls seemed really nice and she spoke about them happily and lightly, telling me about how they were always sweet and inclusive and things like that. Her attitude had shifted once I asked about the girls who had been whispering, though. I began to replay our conversation in my head.

"So those girls in the back who were whispering when Ms Soo was introducing me, who are they?" I asked, stabbing my fork into my nearly empty bowl of salad in an attempt to get the last bits of lettuce out. She sighed and leaned in a little, her voice quieting as she quickly scanned around her to make sure no one was listening.

"Oh, Mary and Martha? I'm just warning you now, I'd recommend keeping my distance from them." She said, an unreadable expression crossing her face.

"Oh, really? How come?" I asked, leaning in closer to hear whatever gossip she had for me. I wasn't a big gossiper, but some things were just so enticing...

"They're pretty... two-faced, I guess you could say. They're super nice in class when Ms Soo isn't looking, which you could probably tell. Just watch out for them. They cornered me on my first day there and totally interrogated me, it was kinda scary. But as long as you're careful and don't cross them or anything, you should be okay." She explained.

"I guess that explains the whispering and laughing when Ms Soo was introducing me. I'll be careful, though. I don't want to get cornered." I laughed lightly as I finished off my salad.

In reality, my lighthearted laughing was a little less than lighthearted in the depths of my mind. Deep down? I was worried, as always, and didn't know what to expect from these girls. I guess I just had to follow Theo's advice and try not to get in their bad side. It kind of seemed like I already was, though.

I tried to push my worries out of my mind as I pulled into my driveway, grabbing my bag and heading inside.

I flopped down on my bed as soon as I entered my room, sighing heavily as my face pressed into my soft pillows. Exhaustion coursed through my body after my classes and the stress that always follows my visits to Alex.

I used to feel such a sense of peace and lightness when I came home from visiting Alex, even when he was at his worst. Visiting him - especially after we got back together and rebuilt our relationship more - was a distraction for both of us and it intoxicated us. We were drunk on each other's love and it was so strong that the buzz lasted until the very next day.

I'm not saying that our love isn't strong. If anything, it's stronger. But we got used to the buzz and the intoxication and now we feel it while we're together, but it fades and leaves us both feeling empty and aching for something when we're done. The warmth of the love liquor is no match for the coldness that awaits us once we're alone.