Because of you

4.

Jinyoung

Last night was one of the most peaceful nights I've ever had in the longest while. I dreamt that Jackson was beside me, the two of us curled up together and talking. I sighed, folding Jackson's hoodie under my pillow before rolling out of bed.

I tried packing my room but my heart just wasn't into it. I checked the time, frowning as I knew Jackson would be on his flight to China already.

I stepped outside my room, spinning around immediately as I saw something red on the door. It's his pullover. The one he has been wearing. Does this mean he knows?

I cried, unhooking his pullover and hugging it close to me. It still smells like him.

It hurts, being apart from him. Knowing that I was the one who broke us apart. And yet. He still cares... even after I broke his heart. He still cares. I'm sorry. Jackson... my Seunnie. I've missed you so much. My heart ached, so badly, just thinking about him.

I hid his pullover in my room, curling back into bed. I closed my eyes, breathing in his smell, pretending that he was really here.

I decided then, I've got to buck up too. There he is working hard despite us. I have to try harder, for him, for us, for Got7. I must.

I crept on his fan accounts again, scanning through their photos and comments. I sigh, zooming in on his tired face. At least he's safe in China.

~

3 months later
A/N: (don't kill me)

It's been 3 months since I last saw Jackson, 3 whole months. It seems that I have officially ran out of tears, my only expression being the stony one I permanently have on now.

The drama filming had finished but we were all still in the middle of promotions for the drama. Jackson had finally started to come back to the dorm, staying for the night before flying off again.

Our schedules had been clashing, the members being the ones letting me know that he came back. It's been 7 months, 20 days and 3 hours since we've broken up. And yes, I'm still keeping count.

Both his hoodie and his pullover didn't smell like him anymore but I still hugged them to sleep every  night, my dreams incoherent as I made sure to tire myself out excessively in the day.

Everyday became a mechanical routine, eating, acting, travelling around Korea, plastering a smile, sleeping. I still followed Jackson's activities whenever I could. He became leaner than ever, his jaw sharper than before.

He was always in sunglasses, his cap or makeup, making it hard for me to see his eyes. I sighed, zooming in to see that his eye bags were thick though. I hope that he is getting enough rest.

"Jinyoung ah. We're here" my manager called. I thanked him, exiting the van to meet with the rest of the film crew.

I felt my phone buzz a couple of times in my pocket but ignored it, focusing on doing the fan sign.

I plastered a smile on my face, shaking hands with the fans and signing their posters and photos, making small talk with each of them.

I stretched, rolling my wrist as the line dwindled. I ignored my phone which was still buzzing in my pocket. It probably was Yugyeom sending me some nonsense again.

We finally finished with the signing and were standing on stage, waiting to play some games when my phone started buzzing again.

My manager tapped me from behind, signalling me to head backstage, whispering it's urgent. I nodded, turning to apologise to the fans, excusing myself.

I fished my phone out of my jacket, seeing the numerous missed calls from our (Got7) manager and the members. I looked up at my manager in shock, waiting for him to explain.

"It's Jackson. I think it's better if we leave now" he said, piling my stuff up into the van. I nodded in response, rushing to talk to the director and apologising to the fans again, excusing myself before leaving.

I called our manager in the van, trying to get more news.

"Hyung"

"Jinyoung ah. Are you on your way?"

"Yes. What happened? Jackson..?"

"He collapsed again. It's the second time this month. I didn't want you to worry and didn't tell you the last time. He flew off before I could stop him. He's refusing to stay now in the hospital. Try to stop him would you? The other members are here too. He just won't listen"

"I'm on my way. But it'll be 30 minutes at least before I reach. Please keep him there"

"I'm trying. We're all trying to restraint him" our manager sighed before hanging up.

My heart... Seunnie ah.

~

I rushed up to his room, opening his door to see the commotion. JB and Mark had their arms around Jackson arms as he struggled while the nurse hooked him up to the IV.

Bam and Yugyeom held his legs as he tried kicking his way out of them. Youngjae and our manager stood apologising to the nurse, bowing the entire time.

"I don't need this. I need to go to China" Jackson shouted, tearing his IV out the minute they let go of him.

"Please Jackson. Please" our manager pled, sitting with his head in his hands. The members look exhausted as well, trying to trap him down again.

"Hyung, please do something" Youngjae sighed, hugging me before leaving to call the nurse again. The other members turned to me, letting go of Jackson again. Jackson walked towards the door, his eyes red and blazing as he glared at them.

I stood between him and the door, putting my hands up against his chest to stop him as he walked into me.

"You're not real..." he mutters, stilling as he noticed me. He blinked, his eyes looking so lost as he turned to face me.

"Seunnie ah" I whispered, reaching up to rub his shoulders. He groaned, his eye fluttering shut, his expression tortured. He fisted his hands by his sides as I continued rubbing his shoulders, getting him to calm down.

A/N: 2/3. Hope you enjoyed reading this. Darling boy. Ugh. Head on down to read 3/3!

Thank you for reading, voting and commenting. You are the real stars :)