Because of you

32.

Jackson

Jinyoung and I kept our eyes on each other's the entire ride, his hand squeezing mine occasionally. I felt horrible, he's injured because of me and yet he's trying to comfort me.

I pressed a kiss against the back of his palm, letting go when we arrived at the hospital, watching as they wheeled Jinyoung away.

My hands felt so empty now without him and my brain was still not processing anything, only catching the last part when the doctor said that they were going to operate on him.

I ran my hand through my hair, feeling so helpless. What can I do? I failed to protect him again. What's wrong with me?

My facade crumbled as Jinyoung disappeared from my line of sight, my heart aching so badly. I stumbled backwards, clutching my chest while I gasped for air.

"Jack!" Mark shouted, catching me before I fell down. A doctor approached me, separating me from the rest, gesturing me to the bed.

I shook my head, waving them off while trying to let them know that I was okay.

"I'm okay. Please. Jinyoung. Just help Jinyoung" I muttered, pointing him to Jinyoung's direction.

The members glared at me, telling the doctor to ignore me while Mark kept an eye on me.

"Seun ah. Just listen for once would you" JB urged, pointing to one of the beds.

I sighed, stretching my palm out to them, refusing to sit down. I wanted to be able to go find Jinyoung as quickly as I could.

The doctor cleaned my hand, stitching and bandaging it up before turning to walk behind me. I spun around, confused as to why he was blocking me. I wanted walk off, to go find Jinyoung when JB stopped me as well.

"You need stitches on your back as well. Just sit down" JB sighed, rubbing his face.

"What back?" I asked, frowning. Mark gestured to his shirt in response, blood stains streaking the front of his shirt. I tilted my head, not understanding.

"Just sit. The faster you do this, the faster we get to go wait outside for Jinyoung" Mark prompts with a sigh.

I quickly sat on a random bed, the thought of seeing Jinyoung causing me to relent.

I gritted my teeth as the doctor dabbed some alcohol into my back, I didn't realised that I had a few long cuts on my back until he started working on them.

She must have cut me when I was holding Jinyoung. How could I feel anything when my world crumbled in front of me?

I clenched my hands in my lap, my heart lurching painfully again. My squish. I need him. Please let him be okay. Please. I'll give anything.

I heard the members wince and looked up at them while the doctor stitched me up. Their expressions were worried, watching the doctor do his thing before bandaging me up.

The nurse handed me a gown which I grabbed robotically, staring blankly at it. My head still felt like it was filled with static. Mark helped me up with a sigh, nudging me to the toilet.

I glanced down to see my pants soiled with blood, my shirt still with Jinyoung. I went to the toilet and washed away the blood, my hair flakey with dried blood as I ran my hand through it one too many times on our way to the hospital. I took a quick shower, changing into the gown after.

I caught my reflection in the mirror, my empty eyes reflected back at me. I'm just a mess. He's the hot one.

My heart clenched painfully as all our memories from the day before surfaced to my mind. I shook my head, trying to shake away all my bad thoughts. Jinyoung will be fine. He always bounces back. Bounce like his old song. Like how squishy he is. I should tell him that...