Omegaverse (2 Moons fanfic)

::21::

Beam

Why does loving a person hurts so much, to the point it affects my mind, my heart, even how I live my life? After all, it's just a sad drama on how the fate is playing this game with me. A partner whom I can't, don't, and will never have. I admit, I tried pushing these feelings away, but it keeps on coming back, like a magnet which has a strong pull of attraction. The only thing I can do is helplessly admire him from a far, way too far that I don't even let myself be alone with him, don't even let myself talk to him in private, except when we're with my friends. I don't want to repeat the same thing that happened to me twice. The first time it hit me, made me unable to recover for weeks! Almost a month if you say so. There was never a day or night that I didn't cry, thinking and recalling those memories he left inside my heart and my mind.

Too much love will kill you, and that is the sad fact about loving a person. That's one of the reasons why I close my heart to him, even knowing he's my 'fated' pair, actually it's not 'him' that is my problem, but mine. In other words, I'm a coward, a person who can't admit his feelings, a person who is so scared about his feelings, a person who is so scared about his present and future, that was once affected by his past.

But after hearing what Kit said, him hugging N'Yo and crying, the possibility of him confessing to Yo totally wrecks my heart once again, and that is the reason why I am so afraid of loving. Cause once you love a person, you can't help but feel pain in the process, may it be mentally, physically or emotionally.

"Beam, what's wrong with you? Let's go to the hospital na~" Kit said as he helps me to get up.

"No......I'm......fine......I ......just...... needs.....s..some....rest...." I declined his offer as I slowly stood up. And as of cue, the surroundings became dark, whilst I felt my eyes close and my body drop on its own.

~
Darkness. Pitch black darkness engulf my whole body, I can feel how it suffocated me, leaving me breathless as I ran further, yelling and crying for help.

Flashes of my past appeared right before me, unable to hold my own weight, I drop on the floor as I cover my ears, refusing to listen on what's happening in front of my eyes.

"I can't do it anymore! I've been patient with you guys all along. I want to live a carefree life! Not tied to a family! I never wanted this!" Said the voice of the person I hated the most.

"What do you mean by that?! We've talked about this countless of times! And how about us, what about Beam?! Are you going to abandon us just because you wanted a carefree life?! After all these years?!" Mom's voice echoed as she cries, begging dad to stop from leaving us. I sob harder as I don't want to recall any of these events anymore.

"Pl....ease.....make.....it.....stop..." I plead while covering my ears and avoiding looking strait, tears running down my face.

"This wouldn't have happen if that boy is an alpha! But he's not! He's a damn beta! He won't exceed in our society if he's a beta!" Exclaimed my so called dad.

"So you're leaving just because our son is a beta?! What kind of a parent are you?!" Mom fights back, as she slaps dad on the face.

"That kid is not my son!"

"Stop!.....stop......please....." I cried loudly as I see plain white in my surroundings.

"Beam! Beam! You're finally awake!" The voice of Kit made the memories stop from my traumatic experience. After a while, I saw Kit looking down at me, tears were evident on his face, as he pats my shoulder and arm while holding my hand.

"K....kit....." I sniffle while pulling him for a hug.

"It's gonna be okay Beam, I'm here. It's just a nightmare...." Kit comforted whilst rubbing my back.

"I'm.....scared.....Kit......lonely...." I uttered with the best effort I could, he continually pats my back till I have calmed down.

~
"The doctor said you fainted because of stress, fatigue and you aren't eating your meals properly. Tell me Beam, did something happen to you?" Kit interrogated, I shake my head and continue eating the food he gave me.

"I'm fine......just......those nightmares.....kept coming back once again." I replied then went back to being silent once again.

"I see. You haven't had those for years, why now? Did something triggered you that caused your nightmares to come back?" Kitty questions me, but I only remained silent.

"You know what, never mind that. Just take plenty of rest and eat your meals properly. I'll let you copy my notes for tomorrow's lesson." He added and I sheepishly smile at him.

"Thank you, Ai'Kit."

A/N: Sorry if this chapter is short ✌️