Defying Gravity

Never Been Kissed

"Alright guys, let’s get down to business! First, let’s welcome back Noah Puckerman. Puck, I hope your time in juvy has taught you a lesson or two about right and wrong?" Mr. Schue said.

"Are you kidding me? I ruled that place. All I did was crack skulls and lift weights all day." Puck said. "Oh, what a catch, can’t believe I ever let you go." Quinn said. "And now, drumroll, Finn! Because I have in my hand our competition for sectionals next month." Mr. Schue said. "Okay." Rachel said. Mr. Schue said "First, the a’capella group from the all-boys private school in Westerville, the Dalton Academy Warblers." Finn, Ruby, and I said "Yeah!" Santana said "Okay, hold up. Like a million awesome gay jokes just popped into my head." I said "Watch it Santana. My boyfriend's a warbler." Mr. Schue said "And the other team to beat, the Hipsters. A first-year club from the Warren township continuing education programme. Now, they are a glee club composed entirely of elderly people getting their high school GEDs."

"Is that legal?" Rachel Asked.

"How are we supposed to compete against a bunch of adorable old people?" Mercedes asked. "Are you kidding? Brittle bones. Give one of those old ladies a good luck pat on the rear, it’ll shatter her pelvis." Puck said. I glaerd at him and said "Oi! My granma Ginora is one of those old people!" Mr. Schue said "Moving on. Since this seems to get you guys jazzed about sectionals last year, I wanna make this week our second annual boys versus girls tournament. So! Split up into two groups, and, uh, figure out which songs you’re gonna sing." Rachel said "Okay, I have mash-up ideas in my emergency mash-up..." Mr. Schue said "Kurt, gonna say it again. Boys team." Sam said "Okay, I say we do a whole AC/DC, that way [?] lead guitar…"

"I’m not tossing the baby out with the bath water here." Mr. Schue said. "I’ve totally done that." Britany said. "We’re just making an adjustment. Boys, you are now doing songs traditionally sung by girls groups. And girls, try some classic rock. Uh, the Who, the Stones. The more opposite your choice, the more choice you get." Mr. Schue said. "Don’t worry, gentlemen. Matt and I have this one under control." Kurt said.

"-You'll blend right in." I heard Puck say as I walked into the classroom. I said "Hey, Kurt? Can you drive Ruby and me to Dalton? We have to tell the boys smething, and it'll give you a reason to be there." Kurt said "Fine." We left for Dalton after he grabbed his design boards.

"Blainers! Guess who?!" I crowed upon seeing my cousin. He turned to me and said "Marie!" He went to hug be but stopped short upon seeing Peter. "Who's this?" He asked. "He's my son Peter Finnigan Smythe." He smiled at my son and said "Hi there Peter, my name’s Blaine. I'm your uncle." I said "H's deaf, Blaine. Oh, they are Kurt." I pointed at Kurt. 'And Ruby. Kurt drove us here and Ruby is Jeff's girlfriend." Blaine smiled at them and said "Nice to meet you." Kurt said 'So what exactly is going on?" Blaine said "The Warblers! Every now and then they throw an inpromptu performance in the senior commons. Tends to shut the school up for a while." Kurt said "So, wait, the glee club here is kind of cool?" I said "The Warblers are like rock stars." Blaine said "Exactly. Come on, I know a shortcut." We walked over and Blaine said "We're here. Now, if you’ll excuse me." He walked away as the boys continued streaming in and started singing "Before you met me, I was alright

But things were kind of heavy, you brought me to life

Now every February, you'll be my Valentine, Valentine

Let's go all the way tonight

No regrets, just love

We can dance until we die

You and I will be young forever

You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream

The way you turn me on, I can't sleep