Defying Gravity

Power of Madonna

We were all sitting around in chairs. Quinn drew an unflattering sketch of Rachel, complete with the word 'LOSER' across the top of the page and several love hearts scattered around.

"Can I ask you guys something private?"

"Yes, you should move to Israel."

"It's about dating. Not that I'm dating anyone. We all know that Finn and I are no longer an item, and for the sake of the team, I broke up with Jesse. But let's just say I was dating someone."

Mr. Schue and Lola entered the room.

"Let's just say, hypothetically, we went to a Wiggles concert last Friday night, and then because my dads weren't home, we went up to my room and started making out. It was erotic and romantic. And then he said Let do it."

"What if then he got really crabby and left, and didn't even take home the Care Bear I won him playing Skee Ball?"

"Would you please stop talking? You're grossing out my baby." I glared at Quinn and said "No clue, Nick's a virgin too. We're waiting until Eric is born to do it."

"I just want to be ready; I know I'm getting older, and these things are going to happen someday, but how do I stop a guy from getting mad at me for saying "no"?"

"Just do what I do. Never say "no.""

"Oh, totally. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? Sorry, Quinn and Liz."

"Look, girl, don't ask me. The last guy I liked was the mayor of gaytown. And I can't wait to get a guy mad at me for saying "no.""

"We just have to accept that guys don't care about our feelings. Like, the other day, I was walking with Artie and he said 'I've thought a lot about it, and I forgive you for lying about your stutter. However, if you're planning on getting all up on this, I'm going to need you to make some changes. The goth thing was two years ago, so maybe lose the vampire makeup and consider some tighter-fitting clothing. You've got the pow, and I believe you should work it more if we're going to be an item.'" Tina said.

"You guys have sucky ass boyfriends. Jeff's a virgin just like me. Trust me, I asked Nick." Maggie said, pulling out one earbud.

"That's got to sting."

"Hey, guys. I'm sorry to interrupt your little sorority, but I couldn't help but overhearing. Are you really having that much boy trouble?"

"You wouldn't understand, Mr. Shue. You're a guy. Neither would you Mrs. Malfoy. Your married."

"Well, then maybe you should talk to someone else about it. Like Ms. Pillsbury. " Lola said.

"I tried that."

The school bell rang. We all started to leave.

"The fact is is that women still earn 70 cents to every dollar that a man does for doing the same job. That attitude starts in high school." Quinn said.

[The kids are assembled. WILL writes 'Madonna' on the white board.]

"What comes to mind when you see that name?"

"Genius."

"The song Material Girl." Maggie said.

"Icon."

"Hall of Fame MILF."

"So, we're all aware of Madonna's musical and cultural significance, which is why this week, your assignment is to come up with a Madonna number."

The girls gasped and squealed with delight. Rachel applauded. Mercedes and Tina high-fived. "Uh, Mr. Shue? As a dude, Madonna makes me kind of uncomfortable."