𝐢 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐱|𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐧

forty third

"dan! your friend is here!"
i smiled to myself. he's not just my friend anymore.
"hey babe", phil was in the doorway.
he called me babe.
i didn't know if i liked that or not yet.
"hello"
i was smiling.

i hadn't smiled all day.
it's like he has special powers to make me happy.
he came to the bed and sat down.
i liked being this close.
we hadn't been closer so far though, it had been a week since we started going out.

i was happier now.
it's summer. and i'm sick and tired of having to where long sleeved tops.
so whenever i think i should cut myself i call phil or invite him over. i haven't told him why. i just ask him to talk to me.
it's working. hopefully i'll be able to wear short sleeves by next month.
it's not very easy though. i miss doing it.
i told christian about it. i showed him proof that i've stopped so he wouldn't tell petal.
i felt so weak. when he saw my arm.
she'll think i'm so weak for not being able to deal with what happened it in the church. then phil would find out. and he'd hate me.

it would not be good at all.

"you okay baby boy?"
he looked so concerned.

"don't fucking call me that"
"w-what? dan what's wrong"
"just don't ever call me that. please."
he didn't say anything. he just made himself comfy and stroked grey.
i was quite proud of myself. i've asserted my dominance. he knows that i have boundaries. and he doesn't seem like he'll try and cross them yet.
he has blue eyes not green ones.