Everything we never said

Chapter eight - I ache

The warmth wakes me, my baby kicks and a rough hand follows the moment with a gentle caress.

The feeling makes me smile.

"Xan...." I breathe and cover his hand with mine.
"Morning Ron" he mumbles in his deep gravely morning voice.

My eyes open on his face, he's perched on his elbow to watch me and he looks like he's been awake for a while.

"God damn this is a face to wake up to, I'm in love with his mouth" I blurt without my filter and reach up to brush my thumb over his bottom lip.

His lips twitch just a little but his eyes show sadness.

"How can you sleep with all this going on inside you?"
Our baby is quite energetic this morning.
"He doesn't have an off switch, I've learned to live with it" I stretch out and remember I'm naked.

"He? We're having a boy?" Alexander's eyes brighten at the thought, does he want a baby? A son?
"I don't know, it's fifty fifty I hear. My doctor knows but I want the surprise. I can get her to write it down for you on my next appointment? I change the he and she's all the time, it just sounds wrong"

"Oh.... how often do you have appointments? You've been well? No complications?" He frowns.
"Hormones have been the worst of it, I was dealing with a lot all at once and some days it felt like too much to take. Christmas Day was hard. Morning sickness was actually not that bad, I think I only threw up for like two weeks. I had an appointment a few days ago, I have them every two weeks now. My blood pressure is something my doctor and Tink like to stress over..... preeclampsia" I shrug.

"Ron.... that killed your mother" Alexander pales.
"Please do me a solid and not mention that in front of Tanika" I groan not wanting to think about that.
"Does your doctor know?" He growls.
"Not likely. She already thinks I should've had an abortion" I snort.

"Veronica.... is having this baby safe for you?"

"There's only one way to find out. Best part of having no one, no one cares if it's not" I mumble looking out the window on the bright sunny day.

Alexander grabs my face and he looks ready to kill, his breath is hard but he remains silent. I can tell he wants to refute my claim but he can't.

He knows I'm right.

"I'm sure I'll be fine, I'll have someone call you if I'm not. Just in case you or anyone in your family wants her" I say close to tears.
"Think maybe you can go back to sleep? I was having a much better morning before you started speaking" he snaps and lets me go.
"Sorry, no can do. Byron opened for me yesterday and he was good about it but I don't want to push my luck, I'm not going to be late two days in a row" I puff and fling the blankets back.

Oh yeah... still naked.

Alexander groans and sits up giving me his back.

"Byron? The kid in the shop? Boyfriend?" He asks gruffly.
"He wishes" I snort. "Dude is weird, in a good way. He fusses, that's all" I answer and wrap my white silk robe around me.
"So you know he wants you?" He grumbles and I step in front of him and lift his head.
"He doesn't want me Alexander, he's a horny teenager and I have tits. I'm his boss, I'm a conquest he won't be winning" I explain not understanding his curiosity. "Would you like first shower?" I ask to change the subject.

"You are so beautiful.... of course he wants you. Any healthy red blooded man would" he whispers not accepting the change.
"You don't" I say without my filter once again.

Alexander sighs and cups my face very gently, his eyes look so sad.

"Just because it's not how you want, doesn't mean I don't" he breathes and he places a soft lingering kiss on my lips leaving me breathless and speechless.