Everything we never said

Chapter thirteen - Next time

"Xan...?" I call stretching out long in the small bed.
"Not here" a deep sulky voice tells me.
"Matty?" I frown and open my eyes.

Matthew sits on the armchair beside the bed, his arms and crossed over his chest and he has slid down in the seat like he's been here a while.

Watching me?

"Morning Sweetheart, how you feeling?" He tries to smile.
"God... I feel like I've slept for a week" I mumble and try to sit up.

I look down and see the tee shirt Alexander wore last night, I feel my naked legs under the blankets. I blush but then remember Matthew has seen me in less, he's seen me in his shirt.

"Funny, didn't sound like you slept much at all" he grumbles.
"What does that mean?"
"It means you left the bathroom door open on your end and the walls are paper thin, you were supposed to be resting" Matthew accuses.

"Oh...." I frown trying to think back on the night. "Oh no... we didn't.... Matty it was just kissing" I blush.

Just kissing?

The words don't really describe the moment but Matthew doesn't need more details than that.

"Must of been one hell of a kiss" he scoffs.
"It was. I had a nightmare, Xan was just comforting me. The pills the doctor gave me makes everything I dream more vivid, more real. Even the bad ones, I really felt like I was back in that taxi" I cover my face trying to forget.
"I remember those dreams, sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night for no reason. I can't help but think about you, I wonder if you are lying awake scared with no one to hold you. I'm glad even if it's not me, that someone was there for you. I know you hate to sleep alone" Matthew nods.

"So you stayed the night?" I try to change the subject.

"I did, I'm worried about you, about the kid. Despite my fathers advice I just want to be here for you, for when he leaves you disappointed once more"

I look around the room, I can't see a phone or a wallet that might suggest Alexander might still be lingering around somewhere.

"Is that now? He's gone isn't he?" I sigh and run my fingers through my tangled hair.
"Yes, but it's not what you think. I have a confession to make and I hope you can forgive me" Matthew tells me nervously.
"What did you do?" I ask slightly worried with the look on his face.

"I came to check on you, bring you some juice" he nods to the bedside and I see a tall glass of orange juice.
"Not really a Capital offence...?" I frown not understanding.

"Well I didn't think, I opened the door..... and Meatball ran out" he gives me a look and all colour drains from my face.
"And?" I squeak.
"And Dad had the front door open. Alexander ran right after him, told me to stay here with you.... and away from your cat that clearly hates me"

"What?! Meatball hates being outside, he's only ever traveled with his harness or in a crate. He has no sense of road rules" I panic and try to get out of bed.

Matthew holds me down by the shoulders.

"Sweetheart no... Alexander will find him, there's nothing you could do that he's not already doing. You need to look after the baby, doctors orders" he reminds me and I flop back against the pillow in frustration.
"He's my baby too, he's got to be so scared" I whimper and cover my face.

I'll never forgive myself if something happens to him.

"I'm sorry, I really am" Matthew sits and strokes my hair.
"I know" I nod and feel myself start to cry. "How long have they been gone?"
"Almost two hours" Matthew mumbles with shame.
"Oh god"