Open Eyes (Phan)

Sixteen

Dan

Light glittered through by eyelashes and I slowly opened my eyes. I blinked rapidly. It took a moment for the world around me to come into focus.

My ears were ringing. Like a sound shaped like a nail was piercing my eardrums. My stomach was in a knot, as if someone had taken my intestines and tied them into a bow. It churned and rolled. I clamped a hand to my stomach.

But none of that came close to the state my head was in. It throbbed so hard I thought it was fracturing my skull. A giant hammer smacked my head every three seconds. It thrummed to an inaudible rhythm.

I groaned loudly as I lifted my head off the ground. With how heavy it felt, it might as well have been the hammer. Bracing my hands flat on the floor, I pushed myself up into a sitting position. My entire body ached. I groaned again as my eyes finally adjusted to the light, at least enough that I could make out my surroundings. I was in the kitchen. How did I get to the kitchen? How did I end up passed out on the floor?

And then it all came flooding back.

I remembered walking in the front door and trying to sneak past the kitchen. I remembered my step dad lunging for me and banging my head against the wall. But I couldn't recall anything after that.

That must've been when I blacked out.

I managed to hoist myself off of the floor. After several minutes of struggling and groaning, I was standing on shaky legs and aching feet. My spine felt like it was bending in places it wasn't meant to. Holding onto ledges as I went, I made my way to the front window and peered out of the heavy blackout curtains. The driveway was empty. Which meant that my step dad wasn't here. That realization offered some relief. The sky was dark. Distant stars twinkled.

A wave of dizziness washed over me and my stomach convulsed. I grasped my stomach with one hand, while the other pulled my phone from my back pocket.

The screen was smashed. But it still turned on.

It was three thirty in the morning.

I didn't know where I was going. I didn't know where I wanted to go. I just knew that I needed to get out of the house. So with my body threatening to break down and collapse, I left the house and started walking down the street. The air around me was crisp. It nipped at my nose and ear tips. I shoved my hands in the pockets of my jeans and pushed my arms against my sides.

I didn't know what to do. With myself. With my life. With my existence. With anything. I was so lost inside my own head. I didn't know where I was going. And I didn't know how to find my way back.

My breath came out in clouds as I crossed the main street. I walked down the road; past the corner coffee shop. Past the park and the little pharmacy. Past the bookstore. The street was completely empty and void of life as I trudged further down the street.

My echoing footsteps were the only sound I heard. A mile later, my shivering body made it to wherever my feat had taken me. And too late did I realize just where there was.

The bridge.

Twenty meters long and ten meters wide, the wooden bridge spanned the width of a massive gorge that marked the edge of the small town. The edges rose at least forty meters up and arched over my head. And over the edge of the bridge, dropping a good hundred meters down into a rushing river, was the gorge. Even from up here, I could hear the water crashing against rocks. My heart pounded in my chest to the rhythm of the river below.

My feat brought me up onto the lip of the bridge. Teetering on the edge. The roaring water racing along.

My head was quiet. An event that very rarely happened. And though my heart was pounding, I was calm. The ache in my body had faded. I closed my eyes and inhaled. This was it. This was the only thing that would bring permanent peace to my mind and relief to my muscles. Maybe this was where I was meant to go.

I moved my feet forward, so now half of each foot dangled over the edge. With my eyes still closed, I inhaled again and let go of the chains I had been holding onto. I counted my heart beats. I leaned slightly forward. All that stood between me and freedom was a single jump. One. Jump.

I slowly stuck my foot out. One more step. One step stood between me and everlasting relief. Just one. And just as I prepared to make that one fateful movement:

"Dan! Stop! Wait, Dan!"