Open Eyes (Phan)

Twenty Five

Dan

I slept that night. Mind you, it was only an hour. But I slept, which was a rare treat for me.

I was up when the sky started bleeding different shades of different colors. When the sun peeked over the horizon and waved to the world below.

I got dressed in record time, considering the flowers on my skin were healing. And Phil had a straightener, thank god.

I left the flat before Phil woke.

Today I was going to school.

Part of my body was screaming at me to turn and go back to the safety of the flat as I made my way down the street. Because why would I go to a place that caused me so much pain? Why would I go to a place where purple roses were painted on my paper skin?

But the other part of me, the part that called the loudest, was tired of being cooped up in the same places day after day. And besides, I had missed enough school.

So I kept walking in the direction of the large brick building, down a road bathed in the water colors in the sky.

I shoved my hands in my pockets and pressed my arms to my body. It was getting colder by the day now. Christmas was only a month away. The crisp morning breeze tugged at my chestnut hair and weaved through the holes in my black jumper. It felt like the way rain smells. Like a G note that is slightly too sharp.

A few minutes later I was approaching the double doors of the campus. For once, I was on time.

The bell had just finished ringing as I walked through the door of my first class. The teacher watched my steps, eyes wide. Dan Howell in class. A rare sight.

I wrote down every word that came out of the teacher's mouth.

I got through two long classes without anything going wrong. Aside from running out of lead in my pencil half way through my second class.

But then came lunch, an entirely different obstacle.

I didn't dare try and brave the cafe. So I went to the bathroom instead.

Like usual I sat on the counter and messed around on my phone.

When I turned on the small device, I had two missed calls from Phil. And five new messages.

I felt bad for not telling him. But I knew he wouldn't have let me go alone if I had told him.

The door burst open, hitting the wall behind it with an echoing bang. My heart rate picked up speed in response.

"Long time, no see, faggot." He sneered, a malicious smile spreading across his lips. He put the Cheshire Cat to shame.

"L-leave me alone!" I said loudly, hopping off the counter. I lifted my chin defiantly. Despite my efforts, I could keep the tremble out of my voice.

Mike and his two goons cackled.

My hands clenched into fists. I dug my finger nails into my palms. My heart was palpitating.

Mike sauntered toward me. The other two stayed by the door.

"What did you say to me?" He demanded, clenching his teeth. He grabbed my collar and hoisted my up. My feet dangled helplessly beneath me.

"I s-said, leave m-me alone!" I tried to stay strong. But I could feel the confidence leaking from my body in copious amounts.

The next thing I knew, the floor was rushing up to greet me. My skull collided with the hard tile.

The universe couldn't decide if I was to be apart of it.

My vision faded in and out. Static filled my head. Sound was muffled, as if someone had stuffed cotton in my ears. I couldn't quite grasp reality. It was just out of my reach.

And then came the pain. It was white and hot. I couldn't quite tell where it was coming from. Because it was everywhere. It felt like every single one of my limbs was on fire. My brain was crashing against my skull like a wild animal locked in a cage.

I cried out.

"That's what you get, you piece of shit."

He picked me back up by my collar. My head swam. I had to close my eyes so I couldn't see the world spinning and spinning and spinning.

I thought I might throw up.

Mike slammed my forehead into the sink.

Again.

And again.

And again.

Until I couldn't see. White filled my vision. Like a window covered in snow. I could feel streams of red wine flowing down my face.

There was so much pain. All over. Like a field of flowers. Like the way smoke smells. Like when you eat something that's too hot and for a few minutes you think your tongue is going to fall out. Except to my entire body.

I couldn't see and I could barely hear.

And then I felt solid earth beneath me. I stayed there for a few minutes before finally figuring out that they had left.

Every movement I made sent flashes of roses covered in thorns blooming through my muscles. It sent poison through my veins.

I think I laid there for the rest of the day. I didn't know where the seconds stopped and the hours began.

I couldn't cry, at least not properly. I sobbed once, and it hurt so bad I had to stop breathing until it stopped hurting. Tears were streaming down my face, mixing with the blood.

My head was resting in a pool of hot, salty tears and red wine. Lots and lots of red wine.

I still don't know exactly how long I called the floor of that bathroom home, but when I managed to pick myself up and slowly make my way outside, the sky was the color of Phil's hair.

I whimpered as I started walking. I held my head gently. The bright headlights that passed made my head throb.

Everything made my head throb.

An eternity later, I made it back to the flat.

By the time I managed to get the knob to turn and push the door open, my legs could barely hold me up.

The sound of footsteps reached my ears, and a moment later Phil appeared in the hall. He dropped what ever he was holding and rushed up to me. His eyes were wide and scared and his hands shook as he lifted me up and half dragged me to the sofa.

"Dan, oh my god, Dan what the hell," he kept muttering the same few phrases over and over again.

He ran away and came back with a damp cloth and a first aide kit.

He cleaned me up. I whimpered every tome he touched my head, but he got it done.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, because that was as much as I could manage. He just shushed me and kept wiping off the dried blood.

I don't remember when. Or how. But at some point the black void crept up to swallow me whole