Open Eyes (Phan)

Twenty Four

Dan

Kissing.

We were kissing.

His lips were pressing against mine. Soft and gentle. His hands cupped my face. I didn't know what to do with mine.

He tasted like chocolate. Like a newly lit candle. Like soft yellow paint.

It was over after a few seconds. Phil pulled back, putting space between us that I wished wasn't there.

Roses blossomed across my face. Phil looked flushed, too.

My lips were still buzzing.

"Sorry."

I don't know why he was apologizing.

I stood up and kissed him again. The first one had been soft. Like a flower petal. This one was heated and passionate. Like taking a shower in water that is almost too hot. His hands were roaming my chest and mine were tangled in his raven black hair.

Oceans.

The night.

Snow.

My heart was racing in my rib cage and my hands were shaking but none of that mattered.

I pressed my self closer to him until there was no space between us.

"Thank you." He said after we pulled apart again.

"For what?" My breathing was labored.

"Opening up to me. I want you to know that it means a lot to me. I glad you trust me." He smiled warmly. His arms tightened around me.

I couldn't find the right words to respond.

"I'm sorry for taking the blade." I said after a moment. My eyes found their way to the ground again.

"Hey, it's okay." Two fingers tilted my chin up until I was looking into oceans. Endless pools of swirling blue. It stole the air from my lungs. "I'm so, so happy that you told me."

He smiled again, his pink tongue poking out from between his teeth. I found the corners of my lips lifting up in response.

"Dan."

"Yeah?"

"You're beautiful. You're amazing. You're so incredibly special. I need you so much that it scares me. You mean so freaking much to me."

He brought his hand up to the side of my head. I leaned into his touch.

"These people? These voices? I know they make you believe that you aren't worth anything. They make you believe that no one wants you around."

I forgot how to breathe.

"But for the love of god. Dan, I don't know how I lived before you. In such a short time, you've turned my entire world upside down."

My eyes were watering now.

"These voices are trying to get you to fail. Okay? You don't have to listen to them anymore."

"I'm glad I told you." I said. And that was the truth. I trusted Phil. I'd ripped my heart out of my chest and held it out to him in my hands. And instead of stomping on it, instead of turning around and walking away, he'd picked it up carefully in his hands and held it gently.

He wrapped his arms around me once again and put his chin on top of my head.

I could feel his heartbeat against my chest, matching mine. Like a drumbeat. Like rain tapping on a window pane. I could feel the rise and fall of his chest.

He smelled like a cinnamon and vanilla and the warm, breath taking glow of a sunset.

I closed my eyes, content for once.

We stood like that for a while. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to leave the warmth of his arms. But eventually he pulled away.

Looking into his eyes, the ones that out the oceans to shame, I knew that what I felt for him was deeper than a friend. Deeper than a best friend even.

"Was that your first kiss?" He asked, grinning foolishly.

My gaze became stapled to the hard wood floor as roses bloomed across my cheeks.

"Maybe."

He laughed softly. It sounded like a soft breeze. Like the way a new hoodie feels.

The voices were quiet. My heart and hands were steady. My chest felt light. Is this what it felt like to be happy?

"Why don't we go watch a movie or something?" Phil suggested.

"Okay," I agree. Phil smiled and lead me over to the lounge. We plopped down onto the sofa. For two and a half hours, my head was resting on his shoulder and his arm was around my waist and our legs were tangled together. I didn't want to be anywhere else.

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(AN Thingy)

I'm sorry it's so short, but it makes better sense to end it here, and I couldn't think of anything else to put in, so here ya go.

Today was a difficult day. I started crying in my last class and I couldn't figure out why, which just made me cry more. My teacher got really concerned and I got really embarrassed. yay me.

Don't be a stranger! Let me know what you think. Comments are always really appreciated. Like seriously, every time a notification pops up that someone voted or commented I get really excited. God, I'm lonely.

-TrucePhan