Unpredictable~A 5SOS Fanfic

31. Thoughts, Memories, and Feelings

Pounding.

Thoughts.

Pounding against my skull.

Thoughts swirling through my head.

What am I doing?

Who am I?

What do I say?

Where are we going?

All of these things, swirling through my mind and pounding against my skull.

-----******

It's probably quarter after 12 at night. Ashton's walking me home and it's awkward.

Ashton and I were never awkward.

Well, we are but not to the point where were not touching or talking.

It's weird. I feel so weird.

Were halfway there now.

"Mik?" And he ruined the silence.

"Yea?" I whispered.

"This is so- so awkward." He half laughed.

"I know." I half laughed and half sighed.

"I just don't know what to say. This has never happened to me before. I always have something to say."

"I don't know what to say either. I don't think there's anything to say."

"The only thing that I can think of is how sorry I am. That I love you. That I want things to go back to normal. I want to hold you in my arms. I want to kiss you and hold your hand. I want to feel you and smell you. But you know what? I can't. I can't because I know you wouldn't be comfortable. I know it would make it more awkward and not help the situation. Mik, I just want you back. But I know something now. I know that it will take time. And I am willing to wait. I'm willing to wait for you. As long as it takes."

We were near my house now. I couldn't look at him until now. His voice had gotten weaker, squeaker. That's when I noticed he was red, and tears were in his eyes. He meant every single word.

"A-Ashton. I- I don't know what to say. I guess I could say, yes. I want all those things too. I want everything back to normal. If I got amnesia I would just want to forget this one thing. This one incident." We were on my porch now.

"Me too. Mik? Can I hug you? Please?"

I nodded, "I'd like that very much."

And so we did.

We hugged.

His warmth.

His strength.

His smell.

All the memories came rushing back.

The first time we met.

Our first date.

Our first kiss.

When I met his family.

When I realized he was good with kids.

When I first fell in love with him.

My first time hearing him sing and falling in love all over again.

Everything.

And damn.

Oh how I love this boy.

-----*****

We slowly pulled away, not wanting to leave each others embrace. He rested his head on mine as I wrapped my arms around his waist.